Heaven on Earth

When theme parks get religion


Heaven on Earth illustration by Mark Matcho

PARK

DESCRIPTION

ATTRACTIONS

Holy Land Experience
Orlando, Florida
Opened 2001

A “total immersion” version of Jerusalem during biblical times

– Re-creation of cave where Dead Sea Scrolls were found
– Arabian-themed Oasis Palms Cafe, home of the Goliath Burger

Dinosaur Adventure Land
Pensacola, Florida
Opened 2001

Creationist park “where dinosaurs and the Bible meet!”

– Rides that conclusively prove human-giant reptile coexistence, such as the Longneck Liftasaurus, the Pterodactyl Glide, and the Flingasaurus

 

Ganga-Dham
Haridwar, India
Scheduled to open in 2007

Hindu mythology theme park on the shores of the Ganges

– Star Tours-type ride starring monkey god Hanuman
– Petting zoo with “puppies, kittens, sheep, rabbits, tortoise, poultry”

City of Revelation
Central Florida
Opening date TBA

Giant biblical theme park with attractions “from Genesis to Revelation”

– Ezekiel’s “chariot of fire” ride
– “See an authentic Jewish wedding”
– Re-creation of destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah

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PLEASE—BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things it doesn’t like—which is most things that are true.

We’ll say it loud and clear: At Mother Jones, no one gets to tell us what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please do your part and help us reach our $150,000 membership goal by May 31.

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