Just Do It. But Don’t Get Caught

Today five-time Olympic medalist and four-time world champion track star Marion Jones said she’s shocked that her blood test from this summer’s US Track and Field Championships came up positive for performancing enhancing drugs. Floyd Landis continues to be equally astonished that his (A and B sample) tests came up positive for synthetic testosterone after the greatest comeback in Tour de France history. These days though, designer steroids are so far ahead of the testing science that professional athletes failing drug tests seems to be more an indication of flubbed misdirection than of innocence lost.

And a quick Google search will lead you to drug-free urine which means even amateurs, read: young ones competing for their shot, can game the equally amateur system. Curiously, these kits are available for shipment to all states but Arkansas, Oklahoma, Kentucky, New Jersey, Illinois, North Carolina and South Carolina. So fake urine samples are okay in 43 states? Good to know.
I say we’re asking for this as consumers: ever faster, stronger, more exciting athletes, same as we are asking for perfection from our movie stars, who enhance their performance in legal, if equally damaging, ways.