Polish Kid: “My Half-Year of Hell With Christian Fundamentalists”

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There are a million things that are funny about this. It’s almost like someone made it up; if they did, we’re playing the willing suckers here at Mother Jones.

The facts are simple. (1) A Polish student named Michael came to America for a study abroad term. (2) He was placed with an evangelical family in North Carolina. (3) Hilarity ensued.

Here are the highlights:

– The first thing the family told Michael when he landed at the airport was “Child, our Lord sent you half-way around the world to bring you to us.” Michael immediately wanted to get back on the plane to Poland.

– Every Monday, the family gathered around the kitchen table to talk about sex. The parents had not had sex in 17 years.

– The family told Michael that he had the devil in his heart. The family told Michael that his mother had the devil in her heart.

– Michael realized part of the way through his stay that the family had only agreed to house him because he could help them set up an evangelical church in Poland. A bit opportunistic, no?

How is this not a sitcom already? To Mike, we’re not all like that, we promise. Perhaps you should swing by the Bay Area next time and sample some of our “San Francisco Values.” And to Wonkette, who found this on Der Spiegel, keep fighting the good fight, folks.

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DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

Mother Jones was founded to do journalism differently. We stand for justice and democracy. We reject false equivalence. We go after stories others don’t. We’re a nonprofit newsroom, because the kind of truth-telling investigations we do doesn’t happen under corporate ownership.

And we need your support like never before, to fight back against the existential threats American democracy faces. Fundraising for nonprofit media is always a challenge, and we need all hands on deck right now. We have no cushion; we leave it all on the field.

It’s reader support that enables Mother Jones to report the facts that are too difficult, expensive, or inconvenient for other news outlets to uncover. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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