Presidents and Palm Trees: What to Take on a Desert Island


The AP recently asked the presidential candidates what item they would want with them if they were stranded on a desert island. The answers, and their subtexts:

Democrats:

– Sen. Joe Biden: “Jill, my wife.” (“Someone has to be around to hear me talk.”)

– Sen. Hillary Clinton: “A good book.” (“I am unwilling to commit to any particular book. I will focus group Crime and Punishment versus Ulysses and get back to you.”)

– Sen. Chris Dodd: “Coffee with cream and sugar.” (“Why didn’t I choose water? Because I really love coffee. And because I am too short-sighted to be president.”)

John Edwards: “A book.” (“I don’t have time for this question.”)

Rep. Dennis Kucinich: His wife, Elizabeth. (“Have you seen my wife? You’d take her too.”)

Sen. Barack Obama: “Other than my wife and my kids, an inanimate object I would have to have would probably be a good book.” (“Please note, Hillary didn’t mention her family. I did.”)

Gov. Bill Richardson: “Blackberry and a Davidoff cigar.” (“I am an old-style political boss. I am the fattest of fat cats.”)

Republicans:

Sen. Sam Brownback: “Tarp.” (“I would surely be America’s most practical president.”) Ed. Note: Hahahahahaha. A tarp!

Rudy Giuliani: “Books and music.” (“If terrorists attacked my desert island’s palm tree, I would stand strong. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11 9/111/1/1/9/1/1//11.”)

Mike Huckabee: “Laptop with satellite reception.” (“I don’t understand the spirit of the question.”)

Rep. Duncan Hunter: “Mrs. Hunter.” (“I have strong family values, as proven by the fact that I awkwardly refuse to use my wife’s first name. I call her Mrs. Hunter at all times. However, in an ironic twist, I have left no one to care for our children.”)

Sen. John McCain: “Books.” (“I am a flip-flopper. In 2000, I chose sun-screen.”)

Mitt Romney: “My wife, Ann.” (“I’ll need something to eat, after all.”)

Rep. Tom Tancredo: “Boat.” (“I will be president because all the other candidates will be stuck on that damn island.”)

Spotted on Political Wire.

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