David Cross Explains Balance of Indie Cred and Chipmunk Cash

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Hey, did ya see that Chipmunks movie yet? The one that looks like a sub-Garfield brain-dissolving Hollywood CGI cash-in? No? Well, me neither, but it turns out comedian David Cross is in it, which if you’re like me you didn’t know until this bit of news hit Defamer: Cross has posted a lengthy defense of taking Chipmunk money on his website, apparently in response to a dis from Patton Oswalt, who had a part in the considerably-more-highbrow Ratatouille and turned down the part in Chipmunks. The screed is vintage Cross, brutally honest, kind of mixed up, and pretty damn funny:

I knew going into this movie that I would be eating a lot of delicious shit for it. Usually I wouldn’t give a shit about what everyone’s feelings are about it, but I wasn’t prepared for the level, or amount I should say, of vitriol that’s been flung about like so much monkey poo. But then I read Patton’s snide comment in his blog about how he and Brian were offered the part and how they then chucked the script in disgust only to have it hungrily intercepted from it’s intended trajectory into the incinerator by me, a money hungry whore sell out, (I’m paraphrasing).

Cross goes on to defend his taking the part for a variety of “mitigating factors,” including that the movie is for kids so who cares, he doesn’t care about the original “Alvin and the Chipmunks” so who cares, he likes working so who cares, and most amusingly, he wanted to buy a little place in upstate New York and the seller wouldn’t take “credibility and artistic integrity” instead of money. True dat.

I mock Mr. Cross, but I mock because I love. In fact, for me, like many people in somewhat creative fields, the money factor is always a challenge, i.e., how much money overcomes reservations about a gig, and are there gigs you should “just say no” to? Personally, as a DJ, I take on just about everything people ask me to do, passing myself around to corporate parties and cheeseball nightspots like a drunken French whore at a sailor’s bar. Or something. However, I draw the line at weddings, where the wild disparity in age groups means you need a massive library of potential requests ready to go, and if you don’t have the bride’s great aunt’s favorite song you’ve ruined everything. But that’s for my own emotional health, not my “image.” Anyway, thankfully I have enough fun gigs where I get to indulge my creativity that it balances things out, but if McDonalds wanted to pay me $250K to make a mashup for a commercial, what would I do? I don’t know. I want a place in upstate New York! So, is David Cross a sellout, a bad judge of when to sell out, or an awesome dude who’s just trying to get by like everybody else? Any creative types care to weigh in: what’s your price?

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

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