Music: Million DJ March to Unite Annoying, Headphone-Wearing Dorks

For indispensable reporting on the coronavirus crisis, the election, and more, subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily newsletter.


mojo-photo-milliondj.gifThis can’t be serious. Eminem associate DJ Green Lantern and mixtape empresario A. Shaw have just announced The Million DJ March, a series of activities and rallies in support of the good old disk jockey, to be held August 28-30 in Washington D.C. Wait a minute, I’m a DJ. Why do I need to rally? Well, in a press release, Shaw alleges that “DJs do not get fully recognized for the work they do… Label and major businesses who reap the rewards of default publicity need to pay attention and give more recognition and financial compensation to DJs for the promotion they provide, without which music sales would surely suffer.” Well, okay, yes, we play music, people should be happy we do that. Hooray us. But why all this marching? The press release continues:

DJs… are often harassed and legally penalized for their promotional efforts even when those efforts have been solicited directly by the labels and artists themselves: an arrangement that is known about throughout the industry but kept “on the low.”

Hmm, harassment and legal penalties. Are you talking about what happens when you sell thousands and thousands of unauthorized mixtape CDs out of the back of your car?

After the jump: hey, I pressed “play,” that’ll be $25,000.

Either way, speaking as a DJ, I can say with great confidence that DJs are 99% douchebag losers, with our dippy hairdos and “Get Low” remixes and MySpace profiles and shouting out for the crowd to make some noise just because we pressed “play.” Ugh. Moreover, like a lot of the showbiz professions, DJs either make almost no money because they’re playing for 15 friends at the local beer hall, or way, way too much money because they dated Nicole Richie . (Actually he’s a talented DJ and a nice guy, but still, $10,000-$25,000 per set?)

Okay, sure, Grandmaster Flash, astounding genius, and yes, I’ve enjoyed amazing sets by everybody from Q-Bert to Erol Alkan. There’s as much art to a good DJ set as there is to any musical performance, or a photo collage, or whatever. But if cover bands marched on Washington to demand appreciation for helping promote their near-namesakes, people might find it a little ridiculous. Or, come to think of it, completely awesome. Can we get Superdiamond and No Way Sis to headline?

DEMOCRACY DOES NOT EXIST...

without free and fair elections, a vigorous free press, and engaged citizens to reclaim power from those who abuse it.

In this election year unlike any other—against a backdrop of a pandemic, an economic crisis, racial reckoning, and so much daily bluster—Mother Jones' journalism is driven by one simple question: Will America move closer to, or further from, justice and equity in the years to come?

If you're able to, please join us in this mission with a donation today. Our reporting right now is focused on voting rights and election security, corruption, disinformation, racial and gender equity, and the climate crisis. We can’t do it without the support of readers like you, and we need to give it everything we've got between now and November. Thank you.

DEMOCRACY DOES NOT EXIST...

without free and fair elections, a vigorous free press, and engaged citizens to reclaim power from those who abuse it.

In this election year unlike any other—against a backdrop of a pandemic, an economic crisis, racial reckoning, and so much daily bluster—Mother Jones' journalism is driven by one simple question: Will America move closer to, or further from, justice and equity in the years to come?

If you're able to, please join us in this mission with a donation today. Our reporting right now is focused on voting rights and election security, corruption, disinformation, racial and gender equity, and the climate crisis. We can’t do it without the support of readers like you, and we need to give it everything we've got between now and November. Thank you.

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate