Post-Mortem Plastic Surgery? Yech.

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According to Essence, we narcissists are now paying morticians to do plastic surgery on our corpses.

How, I wonder? Are folks leaving aside money with an attorney directing him to have our boobs lifted while we’re on the slab? I can’t imagine my loved ones caring enough to spend their own cash on my huge pores and even huger butt. I’ve often wondered about my own death, but never, until now that is, how’d I’d look when dead. Thanks Essence.

Good thing I’m going for cremation, because my kids would probably have me ‘Petie-eyed’ for my funeral.

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YOUR GIFT DOUBLES THROUGH FRIDAY

Right now, every dollar you give goes twice as far—but only until Friday’s midnight deadline. This is the moment to make your support count double.

In a climate where journalists face mounting pressure to back down, stay silent, or soften their reporting, Mother Jones refuses to flinch. We’re pushing back against intimidation and delivering fierce, independent journalism that holds power accountable—no matter who’s trying to silence us.

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