Top 5 Christmas Conspiracies of 2009

Photo used under a Creatives Commons license by Flickr user <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sis/" target="_blank">sister72</a>

Facts matter: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter. Support our nonprofit reporting. Subscribe to our print magazine.


The War on Christmas died a quiet death in 2009, according to Slate‘s Chris Beam. He’s right, to a point: The righteous anger at retail outlets that used the phrase “happy holidays” is, (mostly) a thing of the past. But in its wake a new kind of conflict has arisen, that, in its idiosyncrasies and insanity, bears witness to where the nation’s political pulse has been and is going. The War on Christmas hasn’t ended. It’s just been teabagged.

 

Let’s roll the tape:

 

The Holy Census: This winter, civil rights groups sought to raise awareness (and allay concerns) about the 2010 Census by highlighting the role of government record-keeping in the birth of Christ (Joseph and Mary were in Bethlehem for a Roman census). What could go wrong? I’ll let the Free Republic respond:  “How come whenever a group of God hating, sacrilegious, communist, dictatorial, bureaucratic, evil, unscrupulous, conniving atheists invoke the name of Jesus I find myself questioning their motives?”

The Copenhagen Conspiracy: The UN deliberately scheduled its climate change conference in Denmark to coincide with the Christmas season, as an affront to Christians—this according to Tomasz Teluk, a Polish economic analyst, who disclosed the conspiracy in a Warsaw daily earlier this month.

 

The Ben Nelson Christmas Special: For conservatives, this Christmas season happened to coincide with an utterly catastrophic debate over health care reform; while this was happening, centrist Democrat Ben Nelson was publicly opposing the bill, because that’s what Ben Nelson does. But maybe there was some other secret motive the media (and Nelson) weren’t talking about? Cue Fox News legal analyst Peter Johnson: “[Nelson is] saying, implicitly, the true meaning of Christmas is that you don’t destroy babies. You don’t destroy children.”

 

Obama vs. Charlie Brown: Ben Nelson wouldn’t need to send implicit messages about Christmas’ true meaning if everyone had already watched A Charlie Brown Christmas. However, according to Russell Wiseman, mayor of Arlington, Tenn., that was impossible because President Barack Obama deliberately scheduled his major policy speech on Afghanistan to coincide with the movie’s December 1 broadcast. Fortunately Glenn Beck, as he is wont to do, saved Christmas by recording for posterity his own rendition of Linus’ monologue from the movie.

 

Desiree Rogers, Grinch: Responding to a report that the White House social secretary had nixed plans for a White House nativity scene, Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, declared that the administration was trying to “neuter” the holiday: “If the Obamas want to deprive their children of celebrating Christmas, that is their business. It is the business of the public to hold them accountable for the way they celebrate Christmas in the White House.” Truth to power.

THE TRUTH...

is the first thing despots go after. An unwavering commitment to it is probably what draws you to Mother Jones' journalism. And as we're seeing in the US and the world around, authoritarians seek to poison the discourse and the way we relate to each other because they can't stand people coming together around a shared sense of the truth—it's a huge threat to them.

Which is also a pretty great way to describe Mother Jones' mission: People coming together around the truth to hold power accountable.

And right now, we need to raise about $400,000 from our online readers over the next two months to hit our annual goal and make good on that mission. Read more about the information war we find ourselves in and how people-powered, independent reporting can and must rise to the challenge—and please support our team's truth-telling journalism with a donation if you can right now.

payment methods

THE TRUTH...

is the first thing despots go after. An unwavering commitment to it is probably what draws you to Mother Jones' journalism. And as we're seeing in the US and the world around, authoritarians seek to poison the discourse and the way we relate to each other because they can't stand people coming together around a shared sense of the truth—it's a huge threat to them.

Which is also a pretty great way to describe Mother Jones' mission: People coming together around the truth to hold power accountable.

And right now, we need to raise about $400,000 from our online readers over the next two months to hit our annual goal and make good on that mission. Read more about the information war we find ourselves in and how people-powered, independent reporting can and must rise to the challenge—and please support our team's truth-telling journalism with a donation if you can right now.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate