Atlas Shrugged: The Movie Trailer! (VIDEO)

Flickr Commons/<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fibonacciblue/4526051690/sizes/z/in/photostream/">Fibonacci Blue</a>

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You’ve waited patiently—oh, well, probably not. If you’re excited about the filmic adaptation of Ayn Rand’s magnum opus, Atlas Shrugged, you’re probably a tea partyin’, Obama-hatin’ “individualist” whose many interesting qualities don’t include coolness, composure, or constancy. AS tells (in thousands of plodding pages) the epic story of a post-depression, collectivized USA in which the main movers of society—e.g., steel magnates, playboys, and pirates—drop off the grid to form a rural libertarian paradise, then storm the Oval Office to impose their benevolent, preachy coup on a commie president. Rand’s novel is simultaneously a revolutionary rethinking of symbolic logic and a timeless meditation on the unbearable lightness of being a solipsistic prick.

This thing’s been about to happen for a long time. At one point, Brangelina were rumored to star in a blockbuster, big-budget production worthy of Rand’s cultish literary helots. But sadly, it wasn’t meant to be: The trailer for Atlas Shrugged: Part I (of three) dropped today—see below—and judging from the cast and the production values, this thing is more Left Behind than Lord of the Rings. Still, you may recognize some cheery faces, like the guy from Ugly Betty and this dude, who played an Al Bundy-like patriarch in a short-lived ’90s Fox sitcom that starred Bobcat Goldthwait as “Mr. Floppy.

Excited yet? How long do you have to wait for this hot mess of anti-tax art, you ask? ANARCHO-CAPITALISM IS DROPPING ON TAX DAY, 2011! April 15: Coming straight to a Netflix account near you! Formulate your drinking-game rules now: Take a shot every time a character says “self-sacrificer” or “bromide”! Just don’t use “Who is John Galt?” as your drinking phrase; you’ll be dead by the start of the second act.

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SIX TRUTHS

Reclaiming power from those who abuse it often starts with telling the truth. And in "This Is How Authoritarians Get Defeated," MoJo's Monika Bauerlein unpacks six truths to remember during the homestretch of an election where democracy, truth, and decency are on the line.

Truth #1: The chaos is the point.

Truth #2: Team Reality is bigger than it seems.

Truth #3: Facebook owns this.

Truth #4: When we go to work, we're in the fight.

Truth #5: It's about minority rule.

Truth #6: The only thing that can save us is…us.

Please take a moment to see how all these truths add up, because what happens in the weeks and months ahead will reverberate for at least a generation and we better be prepared.

And if you think journalism like Mother Jones'—that calls it like it is, that will never acquiesce to power, that looks where others don't—can help guide us through this historic, high-stakes moment, and you're able to right now, please help us reach our $350,000 goal by October 31 with a donation today. It's all hands on deck for democracy.

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