Atlas Shrugged: The Movie Trailer! (VIDEO)

Flickr Commons/<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fibonacciblue/4526051690/sizes/z/in/photostream/">Fibonacci Blue</a>

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You’ve waited patiently—oh, well, probably not. If you’re excited about the filmic adaptation of Ayn Rand’s magnum opus, Atlas Shrugged, you’re probably a tea partyin’, Obama-hatin’ “individualist” whose many interesting qualities don’t include coolness, composure, or constancy. AS tells (in thousands of plodding pages) the epic story of a post-depression, collectivized USA in which the main movers of society—e.g., steel magnates, playboys, and pirates—drop off the grid to form a rural libertarian paradise, then storm the Oval Office to impose their benevolent, preachy coup on a commie president. Rand’s novel is simultaneously a revolutionary rethinking of symbolic logic and a timeless meditation on the unbearable lightness of being a solipsistic prick.

This thing’s been about to happen for a long time. At one point, Brangelina were rumored to star in a blockbuster, big-budget production worthy of Rand’s cultish literary helots. But sadly, it wasn’t meant to be: The trailer for Atlas Shrugged: Part I (of three) dropped today—see below—and judging from the cast and the production values, this thing is more Left Behind than Lord of the Rings. Still, you may recognize some cheery faces, like the guy from Ugly Betty and this dude, who played an Al Bundy-like patriarch in a short-lived ’90s Fox sitcom that starred Bobcat Goldthwait as “Mr. Floppy.

Excited yet? How long do you have to wait for this hot mess of anti-tax art, you ask? ANARCHO-CAPITALISM IS DROPPING ON TAX DAY, 2011! April 15: Coming straight to a Netflix account near you! Formulate your drinking-game rules now: Take a shot every time a character says “self-sacrificer” or “bromide”! Just don’t use “Who is John Galt?” as your drinking phrase; you’ll be dead by the start of the second act.

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We didn't know what to expect when we told you we needed to raise $400,000 before our fiscal year closed on June 30, and we're thrilled to report that our incredible community of readers contributed some $415,000 to help us keep charging as hard as we can during this crazy year.

You just sent an incredible message: that quality journalism doesn't have to answer to advertisers, billionaires, or hedge funds; that newsrooms can eke out an existence thanks primarily to the generosity of its readers. That's so powerful. Especially during what's been called a "media extinction event" when those looking to make a profit from the news pull back, the Mother Jones community steps in.

The months and years ahead won't be easy. Far from it. But there's no one we'd rather face the big challenges with than you, our committed and passionate readers, and our team of fearless reporters who show up every day.

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