What Else Should Phoenix Sheriff Joe Arpaio Investigate?

Cat-Nipped: Did Hillary Clinton kill this cat? Sounds like a job for the Maricopa County Cold Case Posse.Photoillustration: Nick Baumann

For indispensable reporting on the coronavirus crisis and more, subscribe to Mother Jones' newsletters.


Maricopa (Az.) County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who depending on your point of view is either “America’s Toughest Sheriff” or simply the one least constrained by basic standards of decency, announced on Monday that he had deputized a five-member “Cold Case Posse” to investigate whether President Barack Obama was really born in the United States. (Spoiler: He was.)

Despite the unprecendented release of a short- and long-form birth certificate from the state of Hawaii, along with birth announcements in two Hawaii newspapers, Arpaio decided to launch the investigation after being asked to do so by members of the Surprise(!), Arizona, tea party. As he explained to WorldNetDaily: “My door is open to everyone, and I don’t kick them out. If a complaint is legitimate, I don’t dump it into the wastebasket…When I get allegations brought to me by the citizens of Maricopa County, I look into the allegations, just like I am doing here.”

The unit is being funded through a 501c(3) non-profit that’s been set up by the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Department. Arpaio’s announcement comes just as he’s being courted by a slew of GOP presidential candidates—Rep. Michele Bachmann met with Sheriff Joe last week; Mitt Romney and Rick Perry have both called to ask for his endorsement.

One way of looking at this is that it’s a horrible waste of taxpayer resources in a state that’s so cash-strapped it actually sold the state capitol. Another way of looking at this is that it’s a tremendous opportunity to investigate some more totally implausible cold cases. So what else should the Cold Case Posse be looking into? Dave Weigel suggests it re-examine David Ickes’ claim that world leaders are being secretly controlled by a super race of lizard people. Here are some other ideas for the Cold Case Posse: Was Zachary Taylor secretly poisoned? Did Hillary Clinton order a hit on a former aide’s cat? Was Dwight D. Eisenhower secretly controlled by his communist brother, Milton? What if we’re all color-blind and people who are color-blind actually have normal vision? Why does the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Department own a tank?

On a more serious note, this is more evidence of what we pointed out last month: birthers are not going away. And at this point, it doesn’t seem like they ever will.

Thank you!

We didn't know what to expect when we told you we needed to raise $400,000 before our fiscal year closed on June 30, and we're thrilled to report that our incredible community of readers contributed some $415,000 to help us keep charging as hard as we can during this crazy year.

You just sent an incredible message: that quality journalism doesn't have to answer to advertisers, billionaires, or hedge funds; that newsrooms can eke out an existence thanks primarily to the generosity of its readers. That's so powerful. Especially during what's been called a "media extinction event" when those looking to make a profit from the news pull back, the Mother Jones community steps in.

The months and years ahead won't be easy. Far from it. But there's no one we'd rather face the big challenges with than you, our committed and passionate readers, and our team of fearless reporters who show up every day.

Thank you!

We didn't know what to expect when we told you we needed to raise $400,000 before our fiscal year closed on June 30, and we're thrilled to report that our incredible community of readers contributed some $415,000 to help us keep charging as hard as we can during this crazy year.

You just sent an incredible message: that quality journalism doesn't have to answer to advertisers, billionaires, or hedge funds; that newsrooms can eke out an existence thanks primarily to the generosity of its readers. That's so powerful. Especially during what's been called a "media extinction event" when those looking to make a profit from the news pull back, the Mother Jones community steps in.

The months and years ahead won't be easy. Far from it. But there's no one we'd rather face the big challenges with than you, our committed and passionate readers, and our team of fearless reporters who show up every day.

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our newsletters

Subscribe and we'll send Mother Jones straight to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate

We have a new comment system! We are now using Coral, from Vox Media, for comments on all new articles. We'd love your feedback.