The Top Six Classes at “Newt University”

This is how the Romney campaign plans to unleash the Gingrich at the upcoming Republican National Convention:

Newt Gingrich hoped to get a coveted speaking slot at the Republican National Convention. Instead the Romney campaign will have him teach a series of workshops they have nicknamed Newt University…

"Newt University"(Tulane: Newt’s actual university.)…Still, Mr. Gingrich insisted that he planned to play nice in Tampa. He is focused on preparing his lesson plans for Newt University, he said, not on sowing any further party discord. “The truth is the hardest-core conservatives didn’t win the nomination. So to turn to Romney and say, ‘You now have to dance to our tune’ doesn’t make much sense to me.”

The former House speaker’s background as a historian and professor will likely come in handy when formulating syllabi for his guerilla college. Based on his past academic and intellectual work, here’s a good estimation of the lectures you’d hear in a Gingrich U freshman-year seminar: 

1) Prof. Newt on European colonialism: “Within the beliefs of 20th century American liberalism, European colonialism is an unacceptable political policy, but what did it mean to the natives? Did the colonial powers perform a painful but positive function in disrupting traditional society and so paving the way for modernization?”

"Within the beliefs of twentieth century American liberalism, European colonialism is an unacceptable political policy, but what did it mean to the natives? Did the colonial powers perform a painful but positive function in disrupting traditional society" Gage Skidmore/FlickrGage Skidmore/Flickr

2) Prof. Newt on the French Revolution: “What we have now [in American society] is an outgrowth of the French Revolution…a rejection of the larger world in favor of secularism.”

"What we have now [in American society] is an outgrowth of the French Revolution," which the former House Speaker defines as the wholesale "rejection of the larger world in favor of secularism." Gage Skidmore/Flickr Gage Skidmore/Flickr

3. Prof. Newt on the history of the American entertainment industry: “There’s a new book coming out on Reagan and Hollywood in the late ’40s, and it’s appalling the number of hardcore communists that were working in the movie industry.”

"There's a new book coming out on Reagan and Hollywood in the late '40s, and it's appalling the number of hardcore communist that were working in the movie industry." IowaPolitics.com/Flickr IowaPolitics.com/Flickr

4. Prof. Newt on the dinosaurs: “Why not aspire to build a real Jurassic Park? (It may not be at all impossible, you know.) Wouldn’t that be one of the most spectacular accomplishments of human history?”

"Why not aspire to build a real Jurassic Park? (It may not be at all impossible, you know.) Wouldn't that be one of the most spectacular accomplishments of human history?" Mike Licht/Flickr Mike Licht/Flickr

5. Prof. Newt on zoological study:I would really love to spend six months to a year in the Amazon basin, just being able to spend the day watching tree sloths.”

"I would really love to spend six months to a year in the Amazon basin, just being able to spend the day watching tree sloths." publiceye.org/Wikimedia Commons publiceye.org/Wikimedia Commons

6. Prof. Newt on the discovery of America: “Romney was the kind of guy who would have fired Christopher Columbus.”

"Romney was the kind of guy who would have fired Christopher Columbus." Gage Skidmore/Flickr Gage Skidmore/Flickr

I’ll leave it to you to imagine the rest of the curriculum.

(h/t Maggie Haberman)

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WE'LL BE BLUNT.

We have a considerable $390,000 gap in our online fundraising budget that we have to close by June 30. There is no wiggle room, we've already cut everything we can, and we urgently need more readers to pitch in—especially from this specific blurb you're reading right now.

We'll also be quite transparent and level-headed with you about this.

In "News Never Pays," our fearless CEO, Monika Bauerlein, connects the dots on several concerning media trends that, taken together, expose the fallacy behind the tragic state of journalism right now: That the marketplace will take care of providing the free and independent press citizens in a democracy need, and the Next New Thing to invest millions in will fix the problem. Bottom line: Journalism that serves the people needs the support of the people. That's the Next New Thing.

And it's what MoJo and our community of readers have been doing for 47 years now.

But staying afloat is harder than ever.

In "This Is Not a Crisis. It's The New Normal," we explain, as matter-of-factly as we can, what exactly our finances look like, why this moment is particularly urgent, and how we can best communicate that without screaming OMG PLEASE HELP over and over. We also touch on our history and how our nonprofit model makes Mother Jones different than most of the news out there: Letting us go deep, focus on underreported beats, and bring unique perspectives to the day's news.

You're here for reporting like that, not fundraising, but one cannot exist without the other, and it's vitally important that we hit our intimidating $390,000 number in online donations by June 30.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. It's going to be a nail-biter, and we really need to see donations from this specific ask coming in strong if we're going to get there.

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