From my cold, dead, sticky hands…Pete Marovich/ZUMAPress (LaPierre); <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-117043192/stock-photo-four-flavors-ice-cream-with-cone-on-white-background.html">M. Unal Ozmen</a>/Shutterstock (ice cream)
Among the revelations in last weekend’s New York Times profile of National Rifle Association chief executive Wayne LaPierre was this delicious nugget: “His fantasy,” according to a former colleague, “was to retire from the NRA and open an ice cream shop in Maine.” Should LaPierre ever beat his swords into ice cream scoops, here are a few suggestions for flavors that will set him apart from Ben & Jerry’s:
Second Amendmint
S’more Guns, Less Crime
Glocky Road
Concealed Carry Garcia
Mmmmmm-16
Stand Your Grounds (with real espresso beans!)
Jamoca Ammo Fudge
Freeze, M*****f*****!
Shall Not Be In-Fridged
Banana Clip Chip
License to Chill
Jackfruited Thugs (exotic sorbet flavor)
Wayne Swirled
What, no hand-packed pints of Gun Nut? The Star Spangled Ice Cream company beat him to it a decade ago—and even scored an endorsement from NRA board member Ted Nugent.