10 Ways of Saying Republicans Have Gone Nuts

<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Phodopus_sungorus_-_Hamsterkraftwerk.jpg">Mylius</a>/Wikimedia Commons


“How many different ways are there to say that the Tea Party Republicans are both crazy and stupid?” wonders The American Prospect‘s Paul Waldman as the defund-Obamacare-or-shut-down-the-government showdown approaches. Answering that may be like counting how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, but here are 10 colorful ways of filling in the sentence “Congressional Republicans are like…”

• “…a bunch of 3-year-olds playing with matches.”

• “…skillful mechanics riding a runaway freight train with no one in the locomotive.”

• “…a schoolyard bully who realizes that the kid he’s picking on is smarter than he is and just humiliated him in front of the entire student body.”

• “…a colony of termites, voraciously nibbling away at the foundations of Obamacare.”

• “…the bride who has jilted all her previous grooms but has the audacity to be angry at the boyfriend who refuses to propose.”

• “…Cousin Eddie from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”

• “…the fellow who bellies up to the bar, asking for just one more round of tax breaks for his buddies, while declaring, ‘Put it on my tab.'”

• “…children, taking everything personally.”

• “…Charlie Brown kicking the football.”

• “…a hamster on a treadmill, just keep doing the same thing over and over.”

Honorable mention: “John Boehner is like a preschool teacher who can’t control his class, so he’s letting the class eat Play-Doh, despite the fact that eating Play-Doh is going to make them sick, and he can’t do anything about it.”

DOES IT FEEL LIKE POLITICS IS AT A BREAKING POINT?

Headshot of Editor in Chief of Mother Jones, Clara Jeffery

It sure feels that way to me, and here at Mother Jones, we’ve been thinking a lot about what journalism needs to do differently, and how we can have the biggest impact.

We kept coming back to one word: corruption. Democracy and the rule of law being undermined by those with wealth and power for their own gain. So we're launching an ambitious Mother Jones Corruption Project to do deep, time-intensive reporting on systemic corruption, and asking the MoJo community to help crowdfund it.

We aim to hire, build a team, and give them the time and space needed to understand how we got here and how we might get out. We want to dig into the forces and decisions that have allowed massive conflicts of interest, influence peddling, and win-at-all-costs politics to flourish.

It's unlike anything we've done, and we have seed funding to get started, but we're looking to raise $500,000 from readers by July when we'll be making key budgeting decisions—and the more resources we have by then, the deeper we can dig. If our plan sounds good to you, please help kickstart it with a tax-deductible donation today.

Thanks for reading—whether or not you can pitch in today, or ever, I'm glad you're with us.

Signed by Clara Jeffery

Clara Jeffery, Editor-in-Chief

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our newsletters

Subscribe and we'll send Mother Jones straight to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate

Share your feedback: We’re planning to launch a new version of the comments section. Help us test it.