10 Ways of Saying Republicans Have Gone Nuts

<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Phodopus_sungorus_-_Hamsterkraftwerk.jpg">Mylius</a>/Wikimedia Commons

Fight disinformation: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter and follow the news that matters.


“How many different ways are there to say that the Tea Party Republicans are both crazy and stupid?” wonders The American Prospect‘s Paul Waldman as the defund-Obamacare-or-shut-down-the-government showdown approaches. Answering that may be like counting how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, but here are 10 colorful ways of filling in the sentence “Congressional Republicans are like…”

• “…a bunch of 3-year-olds playing with matches.”

• “…skillful mechanics riding a runaway freight train with no one in the locomotive.”

• “…a schoolyard bully who realizes that the kid he’s picking on is smarter than he is and just humiliated him in front of the entire student body.”

• “…a colony of termites, voraciously nibbling away at the foundations of Obamacare.”

• “…the bride who has jilted all her previous grooms but has the audacity to be angry at the boyfriend who refuses to propose.”

• “…Cousin Eddie from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”

• “…the fellow who bellies up to the bar, asking for just one more round of tax breaks for his buddies, while declaring, ‘Put it on my tab.'”

• “…children, taking everything personally.”

• “…Charlie Brown kicking the football.”

• “…a hamster on a treadmill, just keep doing the same thing over and over.”

Honorable mention: “John Boehner is like a preschool teacher who can’t control his class, so he’s letting the class eat Play-Doh, despite the fact that eating Play-Doh is going to make them sick, and he can’t do anything about it.”

THIS IS BIG

A generous board member just chipped in a $50,000 digital matching gift, and we need your help to make the most of it. Any donation you make online from now until September 30 will be matched dollar-for-dollar.

In an all-important election season, we’re reaching millions of Americans with fearless, kickass, truth-telling reporting.

With your support going twice as far, we can lead the way these next 60 days in showing the corporate media how to cover the unique danger that Trump represents and not make the same mistakes they did in 2016 and 2020.

Please help with a gift of any amount if you can right now. And know that it will be doubled—and that we’ll be so grateful.

payment methods

THIS IS BIG

A generous board member just chipped in a $50,000 digital matching gift, and we need your help to make the most of it. Any donation you make online from now until September 30 will be matched dollar-for-dollar.

In an all-important election season, we’re reaching millions of Americans with fearless, kickass, truth-telling reporting.

With your support going twice as far, we can lead the way these next 60 days in showing the corporate media how to cover the unique danger that Trump represents and not make the same mistakes they did in 2016 and 2020.

Please help with a gift of any amount if you can right now. And know that it will be doubled—and that we’ll be so grateful.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate