Kids, Obama Is Going to Close Gitmo And This Time He Means It.

"Don't make me pull this prison camp over. Because I will."<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/whitehouse/8228427950/in/photolist-77FTfF-dx7QXq-8f1kbP-73hfdc-87TmHp-87WrUh-8qVF4T-87TmHe-9KiCHW-eRGo1T-ny17zk-b4bpUP-8j7Qv4">The White House</a>

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Scene: President Obama, driving slowly toward the White House, announces yet again that he wants to shut down the Guantanamo prison camp. A clamor erupts in the back seat.

Kids, I’ve already told you a million times—I’m going to close Guantanamo.

This time I mean it. And no bellyaching.

Listen, I know you don’t like it, but it’s time we behaved like civilized human beings.

I don’t care who started it. That doesn’t make it right.

Will you please quiet down? I can’t even hear my own executive order over all that racket!

I’m serious now. End of discussion.

Because I am your president, that’s why!

Don’t make me pull this prison camp over. Because I will.

Just wait until your next president hears about this. Hoo boy is she gonna be mad.

Keep it up and you won’t be extralegally detaining anyone for a solid month, mister!

We’ve been over the drone thing. When you’re a president you can do whatever you want with a drone.

Don’t you “habeas schmabeas” me, young lady!

That’s it! I am so drafting a new, even stronger statement as soon as we get home.

And stop asking if we’re there yet! We’ll end this War on Terror when we get there!

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THE FACTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES.

At least we hope they will, because that’s our approach to raising the $350,000 in online donations we need right now—during our high-stakes December fundraising push.

It’s the most important month of the year for our fundraising, with upward of 15 percent of our annual online total coming in during the final week—and there’s a lot to say about why Mother Jones’ journalism, and thus hitting that big number, matters tremendously right now.

But you told us fundraising is annoying—with the gimmicks, overwrought tone, manipulative language, and sheer volume of urgent URGENT URGENT!!! content we’re all bombarded with. It sure can be.

So we’re going to try making this as un-annoying as possible. In “Let the Facts Speak for Themselves” we give it our best shot, answering three questions that most any fundraising should try to speak to: Why us, why now, why does it matter?

The upshot? Mother Jones does journalism you don’t find elsewhere: in-depth, time-intensive, ahead-of-the-curve reporting on underreported beats. We operate on razor-thin margins in an unfathomably hard news business, and can’t afford to come up short on these online goals. And given everything, reporting like ours is vital right now.

If you can afford to part with a few bucks, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones with a much-needed year-end donation. And please do it now, while you’re thinking about it—with fewer people paying attention to the news like you are, we need everyone with us to get there.

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