Genius Conservative Compares Gay Marriage to 9/11, Pearl Harbor


So, you’re a conservative and you’re upset that every state is going to be forced to be nice to gay people, so you take to Twitter to share your outrage and you reach for a simile. Not just any simile but, like, a good simile—one that has a strong tradition and is emotionally evocative and will let everyone know you mean business. Ding! Ding! Ding! You’ve got it!

Now you’re getting those faves, you’re getting those retweets, you’re getting those hateful replies. You’re liking this feeling. You’re flying high. You’re on a cloud. You’re on the moon, my love. You are a starship leaving this goddamned solar system! You want to chase the feeling. You want more. You want to never stop feeling like this. Why would anyone ever want to not feel like this? But how can you top Pearl Harbor?

You know what to do, baby. You know what to do:

Bryan Fischer, ladies and gentleman.

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LESS DREADING, MORE DOING

This is the rubber-meets-road moment: the early days in our first fundraising drive since we took a big swing and merged with CIR to bring fearless investigative reporting to the internet, radio, video, and everywhere else that people need an antidote to lies and propaganda.

Donations have started slow, and we hope that explaining, level-headedly, why your support really is everything for our reporting will make a difference. Learn more in “Less Dreading, More Doing,” or in this 2:28 video about our merger (that literally just won an award), and please pitch in if you can right now.

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