John Wayne Was the Worst Swimming Instructor

Do you know how to swim? I bet you do. But once upon a time you didn’t know how to swim. Go back to that place. 

John Wayne is dead, but once upon a time he was alive. Bring him into that place.

Now tell John Wayne you don’t know how to swim. Go on. Tell him.

He’s John Wayne! TELL HIM! 



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  • Ben Dreyfuss is Mother Jones' editorial director for growth and strategy. He's done some other stuff, too. You can email him at But you don't have to. But you can. But you really don't have to.