Mother Jones illustration; Getty(2)
Much has been written about the cruel, and often unconstitutional, onslaught of executive orders that has come to define President Donald Trump’s first 100 days in office. But somewhat lost in the discourse is the brazen stupidity, a stunning randomness with which Trump appears to feed his slot machine of presidential instructions.
“I am directing the Bureau of Prisons, together with the Department of Justice, FBI, and Homeland Security, to reopen a substantially enlarged and rebuilt ALCATRAZ, to house America’s most ruthless and violent Offenders,” Trump announced on social media.
In came the dutiful derision: As many explained, Alcatraz, the federal island prison once notorious for its former brutality and elaborate escape attempts, closed in 1963 because it was too costly to manage and has since operated as a tourist attraction. It would therefore take an enormous sum of money to renovate the site to meet current federal standards for prisons after the president simply, by his own admission, pondered it into executive order.
“Just an idea I’ve had,” Trump said on Sunday, responding to a reporter’s question about where the proposal came from. He then muttered a complaint about “radical” immigration judges, before describing Alcatraz as “sad” but a “symbol of law and order.
Minutes later, Trump issued another haphazard executive order on Truth Social. “I am authorizing the Department of Commerce, and the United States Trade Representative, to immediately begin the process of instituting a 100% Tariff on any and all Movies coming into our Country that are produced in Foreign Lands,” Trump wrote, prompting a slavish Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick to respond on X, “We’re on it.”
Of course, the announcement was scant on critical details. Would tariffs apply to US film productions in foreign locations? Even for a single scene filmed abroad? Did a specific movie spark this outrage? With questions and suggestions of illegality once again abounding, the announcement sent media stocks sliding, which in Trump’s second term has become something of our nightmare capitalist barometer of how things are going.
Compared to the blitz of actions that have upended—and in many cases ruined—lives since Trump returned to power, Sunday night’s orders are low stakes. But they neatly capture governance by way of shitposting, the outcome of federal policy left to feral instincts.
