Over the weekend, the American people were introduced to President Donald Trump's new press secretary, Sean Spicer, who dedicated his first press conference on Saturday to angrily accuse members of the media of purposely misleading the public about the size of Friday's inauguration crowd.
According to Spicer, Trump drew the "largest audience ever to witness an inauguration, period," a patently false claim that Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway later defended as "alternative facts." Both statements added a fresh new layer of humiliation to Trump's first few days in office.
While the country has been well acquainted with Conway's expert spin skills by now, most Americans are still wondering who just delivered one of the strangest White House pressers in recent memory. For the uninitiated, here's what a brief look at Spicer's social-media utterances reveal:
He has engaged in a yearslong war with Dippin' Dots:
Dippin dots is NOT the ice cream of the future— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) April 8, 2010
I think I have said this before but Dippin Dots are notthe ice cream of the future— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) September 22, 2011
If Dippin Dots was truly the ice cream of the future they would not have run out of vanilla cc @Nationals— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) September 7, 2015
Like his boss, he makes a habit of airing consumer grievances on Twitter:
come on @target -- just realized the two gallons of milk you sold me expire tomorrow— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) March 17, 2014
Just bought @powerball ticket -- wow even the price of these has gone up under Obama -- now $2— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) June 14, 2012
microwave #bacon should not be called bacon, diminishes the brand— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) March 23, 2015
He hates Daft Punk:
Also making the rounds since Saturday's press conference is a Washington Post piece from August that revealed the gross fact that Spicer regularly chews and swallows 35 pieces of Orbit cinnamon-flavored gum—all before noon.
It's a lot to take in. But take comfort in knowing we all still have four long years to get acquainted.