Bill's sagging baseline

When the prez recently sent a note to MoJo columnist Paula Poundstone, we really needed to know the mettle of the man. So we asked the Graphological Society of San Francisco to examine his script--along with Hillary's, who had written to us some time before. The experts' report:

Bill's writing shows that he's a team player who listens to others. However, his baseline has a slight tendency to rise in midline and fall at the end, suggesting that he can lose steam in the course of a project.

These two can fight--his blunt endings and angles disclose anger that can manifest itself in petulance and pugnacity, while her occasional hooked T-bars and similarly blunt endings show that she too can let fly, often sarcastically.

Their lack of conventional lead-in strokes and embellishment, along with their relatively straight baselines, show their quick grasp of issues and no-nonsense, stable personalities.

Their well-proportioned personal pronouns ("I") share slants consistent with the rest of their writings--a change from the overinflated, egotistical "I"'s of most politicians.

The Society's Karla Huebner summarized: "Both Clintons show vigorous intellects and critical thinking with their rapid, simplified writing. Bill's doggedly connected, left-slanted script emphasizes the middle zone (letters such as 'a' and 'm') and lower zone (letters extending below the baseline). This indicates that while he is a steady, determined worker--even a bit of a slave driver--he's also rooted in today and the physical world, concentrating on tasks at hand rather than on long-term planning. Hillary's right-slanted writing is somewhat disconnected, with better zonal balance and the more common strong-weak pressure pattern. Her fluid, flexible cursive shows that she looks to the future. Her interests are more mental than physical; she's a quicker thinker and more intuitive. With their high intelligence and common goals, they should work well together and accomplish a great deal."

We also showed a graphology student the notes without names. He found a few more personality quirks: "[Bill] can be overwhelming . . . can get confused or into a confusing situation by trying to fit in too many items . . . has a good sex life, but maybe isn't always satisfied. [Hillary] is not fond of crowds or boring people . . . not necessarily a solitary person, but certainly self-sufficient." So . . . we'll be typing all our correspondence from now on.