Attention Kitsch-Mart Shoppers

President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky are officially an item. A shopping item that is. Entrepreneurs across America are using the Internet to sell sex-scandal souvenirs, from "ForniGate '98" T-shirts to denim baseball hats embroidered with "A Right Wing Conspiracy."

But, the most original offering has to be Presidential Kneepads^TM. For just $6.95, you can be the proud owner of this unlikely pair, hand-painted with Old Glory stars and stripes. "I'm doing it [the business] out of my bedroom," says Gary Noar, co-president of Presidential Kneepads. Noar, a computer information systems major at California's Humboldt State University, thinks the venture is a good way to test a Web-based business.

Sales haven't quite gotten off the ground—Noar reports "only a few" sales so far. But he's hoping some media attention (including, presumably, ours) will help move the kneepads. "We've sent them out to Leno and Letterman," he says. No, no response yet.

While the Franklin Mint has yet to offer any limited-edition china to commemorate the alleged affair, there are plenty of keepsakes to choose from:

	Item #1: Presidential KneepadsTM Description: Kneepads decorated with stars and stripes. Sales pitch: "Good for any task requiring long-term kneeling." Price: $6.95 a pair. Available at: http://www.prezpad.com
	Item #2: "ForniGate '98" T-shirt Description: "Clinton/Lewinsky '98" printed on the left breast and "Fornigate '98" on the back. Selling pitch: "Lets everyone know what Bill is doing in the White House!" Price: $12.95 Available at: http://www.balamara.com/fornigate/index.html
	Item #3: ZipperGate '98* T-shirts and sweatshirts Description: One has picture of Clinton giving the thumbs-up as Monica stands naked behind him. Caption: "But, did she inhale?" Another has a simple bust of Clinton. Caption: "It's not immoral if it's only oral." Sales Pitch: All shirts have "our now famous ZipperGate '98 graphics." Price: $10.95-12.95 for T-shirt, $16.95 for sweatshirt Available at: http://www.petgone.com/zipper/ * Copyright applied for
	Item #4: A Right Wing ConspiracyTM polo shirt and and denim hat Description: "A Right Wing Conspiracy" embroidered on left breast of white polo shirt and front of denim baseball cap. Classy, conservative. Sales pitch: "Please don't take this site too seriously." Price: $18.50 for shirt, $13.00 for hat Available at: http://www.arightwingconspiracy.com/
	Item #5: "Got Milk?" T-shirt Description: Low-budget artwork of the dynamic duo. But where's the milk mustache? Sales Pitch: "A picture is worth a thousand words and our T-shirts tell it all." Price: $12.99 Available at: http://www.monicaandbill.com