Obama's Tough Love for Detroit

I don't think that Pres. Obama should pull his punches with ANYbody. These are changing times. Companies, large AND small, are going to have to reform their business operations. Everything from gas stations to Exxon itself, from Larry's Garage on up to GM, and everyone in between, needs to find a leather awl and make one more notch in that belt so they can cinch down. We are in a recession. That means that the economy is not doing very well. The economy could end up doing even worse than what we've seen so far. We might see a full depression. With any luck, we won't, but everything's kind of up in the air. No one is really sure what's going on, or what's going to happen, so a 'semper gumby' approach is probably the wisest.

A lot of people in CEO-land have been accustomed to the high life, living it pretty high on the hog for a long time. For people in that strata, it's not really going to be all that noticeable, because they've all got an extra million bricked away somewhere, and if they don't, well, then they're not very good at being rich people I guess. Everyone below them is going to 'drown' first, though, and when the lower levels have all blub-blubbed their last, well, then it's not looking so hot for on-time arrival for anyone else either.

The people that manage these corporations, whether they make cars or sell securities or cheeseburgers or whatever, these people are all supposed to be college-trained. MBA's, all that jazz. There was no problem in them figuring out how to down-size before, why the sudden reluctance? Because they, themselves might have to 'downsize', learn how to get by on 1/2 million instead of a full million, one million instead of two? Cry me a river. Cry me a river. A lot of people in this country gave up driving 'cause they can't afford gas or the insurance anymore, and it's not looking so good for em at the grocery store either, living off other people or The Government or fresh air in some cases, so yeah, cry me a river, exec-people.

Let's JUST look at GM for a second. I'm a big GM fan. I've liked every GM vehicle I've ever owned. Simple to work on, economical, inexpensive to maintain. But, that was in their pre-Escalade years. What's happened since? Now, every model has more computing power than most people have on their desks at work, a 'no touch' sticker on the hood, and a 30k price tag in the window. I'm sorry, I don't care what color you paint it, if you're going to charge top dollar for new transportation that incorporates full healthcare coverage and retirement benefits for everyone that's ever set foot on GM property into the final sale price, then you can keep it. I'll find an '83 something-or-other and press that into service, or keep driving what I'm driving for a couple more decades. GM and the other automakers aren't the only people that can stamp out a piece of sheet metal, or form a mold and start casting parts, one thing they probably HATE is that you can keep their stuff running for decades with aftermarket components, and if they try to get rid of that industry and buy up everything in the scrapyards, then we can and we WILL make our own parts, and entire cars, if need be. The concept is fairly straightforward, and anyone that's ever worked on a repli-car or a race car or in a body shop or a tow yard probably has a working knowledge of what goes into a car. It's 4 wheels with a place to sit, something to make it go, and room for your groceries. In some countries Not The United States, they are already fully multi-fuel, and high-efficiency, with their little sewing-machine engines and fuel-sipping injectors atop.

But wait, spare the rod. For, Chevy used to build something called the Metro. Well, Geo Metro, whatever the thing was, it was a little egg-shell with a 3-cylinder engine, and hated universally by all. Over in europe, where GM is more or less known as 'Opel', they build another little eggshell, cute little car, easy on gas, small enough to shoe-horn in between the Mercedes SUV's on the sidewalk where there's room. And, that's another thing.

The global car shortage. Who knew that the world was about to run out of cars? My god, what would people do if the dealer lots weren't crammed full? Walk? Ride horses? Bicycles, even? I shudder to think of people having to revert to MOTORCYCLES. Those poor people, dying of hypothermia in January just trying to get to work. It's inhumane to consider subjecting those poor souls to anything less than split-zone climate control, heated leather seats that automatically self-adjust(where's the in-seat vibrator ;)), the space-based no-thinkum navigation system, the heads-up dashboard driver information interface data readout something-something, the hands-free safety hazard communication system, the lazy-blankard radar-guided rear bumper child detector, or any of the other 24,860 pounds of USELESS GARbage that some companies see fit to outfit their vehicles with. No wonder they get negative MPG. They treat a motor vehicle like a defense contractor treats a soldier, as a revenue enhancer and nothing more.

I want a car(take notes if ya want) that has the following. Either an inline-4 or inline-6 gas/ethanol engine, a 5-speed manual transmission, a heater, wipers, headlights, turn signals, and juuuust enough computer to run the ABS and the fuel injector, good ol' vacuum running the power brakes, maybe a power steering pump and maybe not, everytime you put a belt-driven accessory on an engine it eats into the available HP and affects MPG, and an AM/FM radio with a 'line in' jack so you can play your portable music player through it, airbags 'cause those are mandatory, ONE more module for that, but keep it small, 3-point belts, and that's it. I think if they built to the general specification outlined above, they could get to 35MPG without maiming themselves or putting in more than say, 3 hours of overtime per week.

Here's another GM concept, or for all the automakers. Want to make money, help the environment? Open up a rebuild shop. Make it SO good that you could take something like a 77 Ford LTD station wagon, and turn it back out the door meeting current smog standards and getting into the 25-27 MPG range. Sure, it's a heavy car, but that's what overdrive and fuel mapping are for. Then, turn right around and built light trucks the same way. V-6's now produce the same or even MORE power than you used to be able to get out of the older V-8's, the blocks are lighter, the parts are cheaper(less cylinders, stands to reason), and they'll fit in the same hole that you took the 400 CID wallered-out smog generator out of, and the driver will never know the difference except when they go to fill up and don't have to take out a loan on the wife to get to work. That's also eco-groovy, because it takes LESS energy to fix up an old car to more modern standards than it does to build a brand-new one.

Barack wants to do some legislation where they take a lot of old rigs off the road, and I guess there's some support for that from a safety standpoint, but the problem is still that there's so MANY cars, building a whole bunch of new ones is just going to repeat the pattern, plus it trains 'consumers' that cars are disposable instead of learning more about the vehicle they're operating, and that's a national problem, if you really want to talk fuel efficiency, you have to adjust the 'nut behind the wheel' before you worry about the rest of the car, because ALL cars are 100% low-emissions and highly fuel-efficient when parked and the engine is off, they burn NO gallons if not driven, and if people are 30% smarter about how they use cars to begin with, it doesn't matter if the GuzzGargle8000 only gets 7MPG, those miles will be to/from the places they NEED to go, necessity driving only, instead of in line at Taco Hell or taking up more space on the highway in the Great Race of Lemmings In Shiny Metal Boxes To Nowhere. Don't need to drive? Don't turn that key! Also, when people Do drive, they need to learn that this: - - is about all the farther you need to push that gas pedal in order to make the car move, not the full-throttle neutral-drop 'model' that some people seem so inclined to follow in their daily motoring practices. Just because they do that stuff 'on TV' doesn't make it right for the morning commute. That one's a hard habit to break, but it's also part of becoming an adult and an individual and using your head, don't 'monkey see, monkey do' something you see in a car ad or what the moron ahead of you just did, because we DO imitate each other, life imitates art and vice versa, and the fine, fine folks at Madison Ave. are all OVER that action, because it's their bread and butter. (They make movies, too!). Think before you turn the key...I also think more gas stations need to have air compressors available. Tire check! Ok, I'll shut up, now.
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