Coachella Shuffle: Winehouse Out, Chems In

Oh, Amy Winehouse. No matter what sort of stupid crap you get up to, the hypnotic, neo-soul melody of "You Know I'm No Good" still haunts me, and of course I know that your actually being no good is part of the whole package, even though it makes me feel like as a consumer of your musical product I'm part of the problem, an "enabler;" but still, if you're so "no good" that you can't get a freakin' visa to come over here and perform, then that's too "no good," although it's clearly a difficult line to walk: you have to be bad enough to be scary, not bad enough to be, you know, dead, or permanently removed from society, or something, so I'm sympathetic, and also not. In simpler terms, it was announced yesterday that Winehouse was forced to cancel her appearance at the Coachella music festival in April, although spokeman Chris Goodman denied that any official visa-rejection happened, calling the problem "legal issues." He's likely talking about the assault charges the singer faces in the UK over a scuffle back in September of 2008, although I suppose it could be any combination of 80 gazillion other things: arms smuggling, baby seal torture, hastening the heat death of the universe. We know she's no good!

But don't fret, Coachella-bound hipsters: will some freak-folk, electro, punk rock, and avant-hip-hop make up for Winehouse's absence? Organizers announced yesterday that longtime festival favorites the Chemical Brothers have been added to the lineup, along with beardy hippie Devendra Banhart, stoner-raver hero the Orb, oh-so-French disco-dance producer Etienne de Crecy, and they're-so-bad-they've-got-a-crime-in-their-name punk rockers Murder City Devils. Plus, the little DJ dome that I never go into because it seems like it must be stiflingly hot will play host to hip-hop boundary-pushers Flying Lotus, Kode 9, Daedelus and more. Maybe I'll stop by this time. Okay, it all sounds good; now, if we could only find a freakin' house to rent...