Boehner Beer Koozies and Other Weird Schwag at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference

When Newt Gingrich's campaign saw this, they decided to cancel.Photo by Tim Murpy

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Newt Gingrich canceled his speech at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in Charleston this morning because, an event spokesman told the crowd, of a “scheduling conflict.” The conflict, as best as I could surmise, was that Gingrich had been scheduled to deliver a speech to South Carolina voters, and there weren’t any; at the time his remarks were set to begin there were—generously—about two dozen attendees scattered in the bowl of the College of Charleston’s basketball arena. There were nearly as many press, and it was difficult to determine which group was more bummed by the whole thing.

Gingrich may not have showed up, but there was still plenty to see at the SRLC. At the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) booth, volunteers handed out pamphlets from the California-based Ruth Institute entitled “77 Non-Religious Reasons to Support Man/Woman Marriage.” As it turns out, some of these non-religious reasons are, in fact, religious. Non-religious reason number 73, for instance, warns that “religious organizations of all kinds, potentially including schools, adoption agencies, and marriage prep programs, may be subject to government regulation.” Non-religious reason number 76 notes that “the government of Quebec insisted the Mennonites teach that homosexuality is normal to the handful of children in their country schools.” Non-religious reason number 46 is actually non-religious, but equally absurd and isn’t fixed by banning gay marriage: “Artificial reproductive technology violates the dignity of the child.”

Most of the swag is a bit less heady, though. This is a representative example:

That’s worth $7, although I wouldn’t use it. This, on the other hand, is apparently worth a million dollars. In Guns We Trust?

Here’s a painting of Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Richard Nixon, George H.W. Bush, and Gerald Ford all hanging out together. What are they laughing at?

Insert Newt Gingrich-Tiffany’s joke here:

A Tim Tebow football helmet signed by Rick Perry. OK, it’s signed by Tebow; bidding opens at $995:

Brother, can you spare a dime for voter suppression? 

This joke would probably be a lot funnier to people who aren’t supporting Newt Gingrich:

“It’s Boehner Time” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it:

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This is how change happens.

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This investigative reporting takes time too. Months of research. Weeks of writing, editing, and fact checking—and putting together the photography, art, video, and audio that tell the stories in a new way, illuminating new perspectives and voices.

We can afford to take our time because we don’t report to oligarchs or corporations. We report to you, and for you.

And the stakes are high. Democracy is on the defense. We’ve been exposing corruption and scandal for five decades, and this is a pivotal moment in our country’s history. Will democracy prevail? We won’t wait for time to tell—independent journalism is essential for democracy, and we’ll keep doing our part to amplify the free press.

So, we’re asking: Will you join the fight? Mother Jones has been here for 50 years, and we need your support to fuel the future of investigative journalism. Mark our 50th anniversary with a gift of any amount.

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