Boehner Beer Koozies and Other Weird Schwag at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference

When Newt Gingrich's campaign saw this, they decided to cancel.Photo by Tim Murpy

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Newt Gingrich canceled his speech at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in Charleston this morning because, an event spokesman told the crowd, of a “scheduling conflict.” The conflict, as best as I could surmise, was that Gingrich had been scheduled to deliver a speech to South Carolina voters, and there weren’t any; at the time his remarks were set to begin there were—generously—about two dozen attendees scattered in the bowl of the College of Charleston’s basketball arena. There were nearly as many press, and it was difficult to determine which group was more bummed by the whole thing.

Gingrich may not have showed up, but there was still plenty to see at the SRLC. At the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) booth, volunteers handed out pamphlets from the California-based Ruth Institute entitled “77 Non-Religious Reasons to Support Man/Woman Marriage.” As it turns out, some of these non-religious reasons are, in fact, religious. Non-religious reason number 73, for instance, warns that “religious organizations of all kinds, potentially including schools, adoption agencies, and marriage prep programs, may be subject to government regulation.” Non-religious reason number 76 notes that “the government of Quebec insisted the Mennonites teach that homosexuality is normal to the handful of children in their country schools.” Non-religious reason number 46 is actually non-religious, but equally absurd and isn’t fixed by banning gay marriage: “Artificial reproductive technology violates the dignity of the child.”

Most of the swag is a bit less heady, though. This is a representative example:

That’s worth $7, although I wouldn’t use it. This, on the other hand, is apparently worth a million dollars. In Guns We Trust?

Here’s a painting of Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Richard Nixon, George H.W. Bush, and Gerald Ford all hanging out together. What are they laughing at?

Insert Newt Gingrich-Tiffany’s joke here:

A Tim Tebow football helmet signed by Rick Perry. OK, it’s signed by Tebow; bidding opens at $995:

Brother, can you spare a dime for voter suppression? 

This joke would probably be a lot funnier to people who aren’t supporting Newt Gingrich:

“It’s Boehner Time” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it:

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WE CAME UP SHORT.

We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

Because the bottom line: Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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