I have an obscenely long list of graphic, expletive-riddled phrases I've been using to illustrate how much I enjoyed Sam Mendes' installment in the Daniel Craig era of Bond movies, but I'm told that this is a family-friendly website.
Now that my official review is out of the way, I'd like to share something else with you: It was written by Tim Stanley, a British historian who wrote a book about Pat Buchanan. He is a blogger for the UK paper The Telegraph, and he adores Ronald Reagan.
The rot set in with the casting of Daniel Craig. Things had been going a little haywire since the late 1980s, when the producers first caved into the non-existent popular demand for political correctness. But being the 1980s, they interpreted that to mean people would like to see beautiful ladies with big chests occasionally firing a gun (Hell, yeah!).
Connery and Moore played their parts in an age when character trumped looks and women were encouraged to find a man attractive well into his seventies...And we, the heterosexual men for whom these movies are made, could watch them and aspire to be them...Gentlemen, Bond has been stolen from us and redesigned to appeal to women...Bond has thus become violent feminine porn.
Stanley blogged a follow-up last month in which he fantasizes about punching Sigmund Freud in the face. (I say this as someone who wrote a glowing review of Battleship and thought Piranha 3D was the best movie of 2010: The immaturity here is astonishing.)
Stanley's is an example of what I call a Costanza review: Whatever it says, do and think the exact opposite.
He is correct in one respect, though: Since Daniel "Politicians Are Shitheads" Craig assumed the starring role with Casino Royale in 2006, the Bond franchise has indeed morphed into a barely recognizable enterprise.
Just compare and contrast the present-day glory of Craig-era Bond, on full, brooding display here:
...to the equally glorious glory of this era of Bond: For more on why Skyfall is a 007 flick for the ages, listen here, in which ThinkProgress culture blogger Alyssa Rosenberg and I break down the latest Bond movie for our weekly podcast.
Skyfall gets a wide US release on Friday, November 9. The film is rated PG-13 for intense violent sequences throughout, some sexuality, language and smoking.Click here for local showtimes and tickets.
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Asawin Suebsaeng is an interactive writing fellow at the Washington, DC, bureau of Mother Jones. For more of his stories, click here. You can also follow him on Twitter. Email tips, insights, and anger to asuebsaeng [at] motherjones [dot] com. RSS | Twitter