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Rambling screeds on right-leaning editorial pages are often stuffed with unintentional humor and unintended self-parody, but the op-ed by Editor in Chief Wesley Pruden in today's Washington Times really takes the cake. In between busily accusing Democrats of hoping for bad news on Iraq ("only bad news makes their hearts sing") and pretending some "Let's not pay taxes or follow laws" crazy on the internet is representative of the Democratic party, Pruden came out with this gem:
Some of these doom-criers would have swooned in the miserable spring of 1942, when Rommel's unstoppable march across North Africa was finally stopped by the British at el-Alamein. Halfway around the world, the U.S. Navy turned back the Japanese tide at Midway.
So if you're keeping track, Iraq is Vietnam, General Petraeus is Bernard Montgomery, the surge is the First Battle of el-Alamein, the insurgents are Nazis (or Japanese), and Democrats are (again!) a fifth column that only wants to see America lose, the terrorists win, and babies cry. Bravo, Mr. Pruden. Your achievements in convoluted overstatement are truly impressive. Bravo.
— Nick Baumann