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Obama Is the Pirate-Killingest President Ever
This may not be the most accurate chart floating around the tubes today (after all, TR might have choked out an environmentally-friendly pirate or two in his day) but it is certainly the most awesome. I think it's from Big Crush. Found via Mottram.
Charts, FTW.
Death is funny. Haha.
Death is funny. Haha.
I'm going to need you to get
I'm going to need you to get over yourself.
TJ FTW!
tagged as:- result
The chart doesn't go back far enough. I'm pretty sure Thomas Jefferson kicked some pirate booty in his day.
exactly correct
Jefferson ordered the First Barbary War, in which several hundred pirates were killed. It temporarily ended payment of tribute to the Barbary Pirates. A second war, about 15 years later, ended it permanently.
Jefferson, Decatur, Tripoli, and our first Muslim-American war
Back in 1800, African Muslim pirates were kidnapping thousands of us infidel Europeans every year in the Mediterranean and holding us for ransom or selling us into slavery. It is a Muslim way of life. The Somalis are merely reviving traditional Islamic practices toward us Europeans.
Thomas Jefferson tried to bribe the pirates as the Europeans are bribing them now, but in the end it didn't work. In the first Muslim-American war in 1803-04, our 24-year-old American Navy Captain, Steven Decatur, attacked Tripoli -- the Muslim pirate nest which held kidnapped American sailors and ships -- rescued the sailors and burned Tripoli down.
From that famous battle we European Americans get our Marine's hymn: 'From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli ... "
Jefferson was the killingest President. Let's hope that Obama at least tries to live up to his example.