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New Lawsuit: Michael Vick is Going to Need a Bigger Contract
Spotted on The Corner, the most interesting news story of the day. Reprinted in full:
An offbeat South Carolina prison inmate has filed a handwritten lawsuit seeking $63 quintillion from Michael Vick.
That's $63,000,000,000,000,000,000.
Or as Jonathan Lee Riches put it in his handwritten lawsuit, "$63,000,000,000 billion." The suit was filed in the U.S. District Court in Richmond on July 23.
Riches -- who has developed an Internet cult following for his propensity to file strange lawsuits naming multiple diverse defendants -- claims that Vick stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to "use the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government."
In the complaint, Riches scrawls that "Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes."
If he wins the lawsuit, Riches says he wants the $63 quintillion delivered in gold and silver to the front gate of the Williamsburg Federal Correctional Facility in South Carolina, where he is housed as he serves a conviction for wire fraud.
In his previous lawsuits -- which have never actually made it to court -- Riches has sued politicians, entertainers, dead people, corporations and occasionally abstract concepts.
One week before he filed suit against Vick, Riches had filed a suit against three entities -- the Jewish Mossad, the Central Intelligence Agency and "Larry King Live." It was unclear why he was suing them.
In his most noteworthy suit, Riches submitted a 57-page list of defendants that included President Bush, Pope Benedict, actor Tony Danza, Fruit of the Loom, NASCAR, the Ming Dynasty, Skittles candy, the Philadelphia Eagles (2005 roster), the Doobie Brothers, the Congolese Army, the Magna Carta, "WKRP in Cincinnati," the King's Dominion amusement park in Virginia, the philosopher Plato, and the Liberty Bell.
He claimed they collectively owed him money.
First of all, shame on the news media for using a man who is clearly mentally disturbed to entertain their readers. Second of all, what could anyone have against the Magna Carta? Or Skittles?
Update: Found the pdf of Riches v. Bush, et al. The list of defendants is pure comic genius.
UPDATE Update: Found the handwritten Riches v. Vick.
TOO MANY UPDATES: Just a few days ago, Riches sued Barry Bonds, Bud Selig, and "Hank Aaron's Bat"! And look who's mixed up in their nefarious business [pdf]:
Mr. Selig has been secretly giving Barry Bonds steroids for over 9 years under the supervision of Sammy Sosa. Mr. Selig on 2 occations [sic] (Dec. 10th 2001, Feb 6th, 2003) met Mr. Bonds at the I-70 Steak N Shake, Booth #11, made an under the table cream exchange, needles, HGH, as Mr. Bonds provided Mr. Selig 22 thousand for his services. I planted a bug in booth #10, Robert Novak and Judith Miller have copies of the transcripts.
Posted by Jonathan Stein on 08/16/07 at 12:27 PM | E-mail | Print | Digg | de.licio.us | Reddit | Newsvine | Yahoo! MyWeb | StumbleUpon | Netscape | Google |
Comments
Shame on Mr. Riches for using the court-system and taxpayer resources for his idle amusement. His incarceration already costs the taxpayers a fortune. Now he's tying federal courts, too.
Mr. Riches should be doing hard labor (breaking rocks, etc.) twelve hours a day. That way, he'd be too tired to file lawsuits.
Posted by: Klaus on 08/17/07 at 6:33 AM
Klaus, the article also had this to say -
In his previous lawsuits -- WHICH HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY MADE IT TO COURT -- Riches has sued politicians, entertainers, dead people, corporations and occasionally abstract concepts.
I'm sure if any suits have actually, officially been FILED, they were thrown out at the first opportunity.
I'd guess he's wasting far less court time and taxpayer money than if he were filing the endless 'legitimate' appeals that many cons amuse themselves with.
Posted by: DrooliusSneezer on 08/17/07 at 6:43 AM
The same inmate who sued Michael Vick for 63 billion dollars has now sued the I-35W Bridge.
http://dreadnaught.wordpress.com/2007/08/20/jonathan-lee-riches%c2%a9-v-i-35w-bridge-et-al/
yojoe
Posted by: yojoe on 08/21/07 at 10:36 AM
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"...shame on the news media for using a man who is clearly mentally disturbed to entertain their readers."
Ummm..., J.S., I hope your tongue is firmly planted in your cheek, because you've just done the same.
Posted by: gvc on 08/16/07 at 12:53 PM