Photojournalism
Can You Love a Child of Rape?
Post-genocide, Rwandan women raise the children of their attackers.
by Jonathan Torgovnik
In 2006, photographer Jonathan Torgovnik began work on what became a three-year project photographing and interviewing Rwandan women who had children as the result of being raped during the genocide. Torgovnik won the 2007 National Portrait Gallery’s Photographic Portrait Prize for an image from this work. The culmination of his project is an exhibition and book, Intended Consequences: Rwandan Children Born of Rape, published by the Aperture Foundation. Inspired by the people he met on this project, Torgovnik co-founded Foundation Rwanda, established to improve the lives of Rwandan children born of rape.
Be sure to also visit MediaStorm's multimedia presentation of "Intended Consquences."
It may not be quite the same
It may not be quite the same thing, but I interviewed a woman in the US Air Force raising a child she bore as a result of rape. Perhaps because she was in the US, abortion may have been an option. I didn't get that much detail about her family background, or whether abortion services were available to her or whether she was informed of this option - she was rather young when the assult occurred.
From what I could tell, the conflict within her was certainly there, but it seemed to me her maternal instincts were clearing winning that inner war.
I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like for these women - I've got the other set of parts. It was the men who raped these women, not the children. They are also innocents in this tragedy.
And while some may consider this cold comfort, and others will point out that this view is predicated on faith, every child is a child of God's. That belief, and her faith, certainly helped the airman I interviewed years ago to adjust to the unusual circumstances by which she came upon her little bundle of joy.
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agree
tagged as:- solution
I agree
Bowling Tips
Child of Rape
You might think that slaves, of all rape victims, would not love the children whosen fathers were the massa or the overseer. Yet the histories of slavery in the Old Confederacy are filled with stories of women who pleaded with the massa not to sell away their children.
ye gods..
as a woman, I wonder what do you as men think when you read this? How do you see yourselves, how do you resolve being related to this by your sex? It's a hard question, not a flip one. I as a woman know how easy the behaviour is that has ripped these woman's lives apart, even here, "safe" from war. It is not only there.
It is unbelievable the "flip ", the easy of these rapes..and yet it IS believable. How do you as men deal with that, I mean really..
That is first comment.
Second is that the children, whether their mother heals her wound enough to re-give love or not, walks with the violence that spawned her, for that IS the word to use, that used her sacred mother in such a way, the coming from such a violence must have its effects, if only in the conciousness of the woman violated. Somewhere that gets absorbed. That these women and children transform their pain into the great capacity to love deserves more deep respect than "we're all God's children" , which smacks a bit of "so get over it" to my heart. It is, in each case, a heroic and deeply CHOSEN move. Which, very understandably, not everyone can choose, as the mother of Thomas said for herself.
We love because we have to to survive, and for many other reasons as well, but it is never to be taken for granted the pain that is there at the same time. Grow up! would be my response to these responses.
and wake up.
Am verrrry glad to see that this IS a project, not slithered into facile forgotten "ex-fact" and history[sic].
Rwanda
I have never killed anyone with a machete or any other way. I have never raped anyone. I have to believe that I never would, even if the world around me was going crazy as in Nazi Germany or Cambodia or Rwanda.
Just because I am a man does not make me responsible for the evil that other men do. So I am NOT "related to this by" my sex. If there is anything to resolve, it is because I am a human being, not because I am a man.
I think you're missing the
I think you're missing the point Carl. No, you personally are not a rapist nor violent. But as a man, you do have some level of responsibility for men in general. You play a small yet important role in eradicating sexism and violence against women in your own home, your own community, etc. You have an obligation to speak out against such violence and oppression. I think that is what the previous poster was getting at. And as a woman I understood what she meant, but I can also see how you might have misunderstood what she was getting at. It's a societal issue and you are part of society.
Also, I should have added
Also, I should have added that although you are correct that it is your responsibility as a human being (as opposed to a male) to do something about it, make change in the world, etc., there is something to consider.
Do you fear walking alone at night? Do you fear getting mugged and raped? Do you feel anxious as you walk to your car in a parking lot hoping nobody has broken into the car or is under the car, quickly get inside and lock all the doors? Does your heart pound when some strange man starts banging on your door for unknown reasons? Do you start dating someone new and hope this person is sane and not violent? Have you ever feared for your life because your spouse was threatening you? I could go on some more. But my point is, that as a woman, all of the above are true for me. Granted not all women suffer from PTSD like I do as the result of a crazy ex-husband who is violent. Nor have all women been mugged by complete strangers (and I should add I was NOT alone and WAS with a male friend and other friends). But if I talk to most women I know, many of these scenarios apply. Most women I know would be spooked if walking down the street and a strange man was too close behind her. Sure, men do get assaulted/robbed, but in general I don't think men have a whole lot to be worried about when walking down the street. (With the exception of a gang member who is scared of getting shot, but that's a whole different issue altogether.)
A guy friend of mine once touched on this topic and said it is so upsetting to him that although he would never harm a woman/person, he realizes the fear women tend to have of strangers or sometimes men in general. As a result, if he's walking and sees a woman alone, he purposefully crosses the street so as not to spook her by being that strange man following behind her. It's sad that he feels the need to do that, but it makes sense. So actually, your gender IS related.
>>>Do you fear walking alone
>>>Do you fear walking alone at night? Do you fear getting mugged and raped? Do you feel anxious as you walk to your car in a parking lot hoping nobody has broken into the car or is under the car, quickly get inside and lock all the doors? Does your heart pound when some strange man starts banging on your door for unknown reasons? Do you start dating someone new and hope this person is sane and not violent? Have you ever feared for your life because your spouse was threatening you? <<<<
Let's see now: my answers are yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You see, I'm a gay man and it can be a very dangerous world for us also. I can be mugged, raped and killed just for who I am and who I love. I have been battered by someone that was supposed to love me and this has made me much more wary of men. When going out with a new person, I do wonder if this is going to be a nice gay man or is this some psychopath that's going to hurt or kill me. In certain areas of town, there is the possibility of walking someplace and being gay-bashed just for the hell of it by high school or college kids or gangs. And I can tell you, you don't have to be gay...you just have to be presumed to be gay (even if you're straight) and end up a statistic of a hate crime. Men of color can also experience all of the same hostile actions against them. Also, remember that men can be raped and it can be just as emotionally devastating as it is for a woman, though men are probably even less likely than women to report it. The only difference is that we don't have the horror of discovering that this violent act left us pregnant.
Rape is an act of violence, whether against a woman or a man.
As a man, I don't fear much,
As a man, I don't fear much, certainly not that I'll be raped or attached sexually. I actually walk expecting to kick some ass if someone does come looking for trouble. I guess I'm just tough like that. On the other hand, I don't go to brothels, have sex in massage parlers, travel to southeast asia to partake in the delights there. Because I could never know that I'd be enjoying myself with someone choosing to be with me out of freewill. Almost all prostitutes are forced into the lifestyle in some way. No need to be specific. As a man, I also make a point of telling other men who brag about such things that they are jackasses. I can't protect women around the world, but I can make certain that the attitudes that foster rape stop with me. In the end, I do think men are basically disgusting. Sure, they invent much, but warfare is almost entirely a product of teh male ego.
foreign aid / birth control needed here desperately
RU486 could have been applied to all of these tragedies immediately after these horrid personal attacks. And one less(= / two less) peoples lives may not have to go thru this evil rape, +forced childbearing.
Children
The child is a child.....Some of the mothers will love them..some not. So how can I help.
Child of Rape
Speaking as a mother who raised a child of rape; it is the hardest thing I have ever done. If the rape is very violent it compounds issues. When I was young abortion was not an option. Not that I had the money to have one anyway. I was educated so I realized my child was not at fault. I had to make sure he had an upbringing that was clear of violence and filled with compassion and love. I worried about the inheritance of genes etc.
Today he is a wonderful, loving son. I adore him. He's perfect.
I wouldn't recommend raising a child of rape alone. You need a community to help you. If you think that you may harbor any feelings that might cause you to blame the child, then abort or adopt this child to someone(s) who can give this child lots of nurture and education. The last thing a son or daughter needs to see is the events of such behavior as acceptable. It will perpetuate the future of violence and victimization. This is their future also. What will you tell them about there inheritance? The road is long and very tough. These women need as much help as possible.
Last year, my wife and I
Last year, my wife and I adopted two beautiful boys from Ethiopia. Our youngest son was a product of rape. He was two months old when we got him and is a happy toddler now (he's always had a great disposition). I often think about how rape imprints on the psyche of the child/product of rape. I know my wife and I love him to death, but I do pray for his future. Then there is the bigger issue: the impact of rape on a mass level (the "mass psyche" - Africa). If I think about it long enough it overwhelms me with despair for humanity. I think you have to bring it back to the individual level at some point. It's hard for Americans to think about because we are so far removed from it, but we ALL need to be connected to it.
Of course men can be scared
Of course men can be scared and violated, violent or gentle/peaceful; and humanity on the whole must work together to teach respect, understanding and peace. But this in no way negates the original comment made.
Both history and current events show that it is usually men who physically abuse women. Anatomically speaking, both in strength and in sexual mechanics, it is usually men who have the greater ability to abuse women -and it is only the woman who will carry a child of rape. The way society has been set up, men generally have the power politically and economically. I speak of oppression.
The power inequities (and hate crimes) apply to all minorities may it be women, black, gay, Hispanic, Jewish...But even within these subgroups, the majority of rape/abuse victims are women and the majority of the violators are men. As the article shows, even though genocide is happening across the sexes, it is mainly the women that are tortured and raped prior to death or will possibly have to birth and raise or give up a child.
Walking down the street alone at night can be scary for men AND women (and yes a hate crime can happen), but statistically it is a woman who will be violated in that moment. As a lesbian, I understand "hate crime" fear but as a woman I am more fearful of that random man walking behind me.
As a white woman it is hard for me to grasp all the challenges my black sisters and brothers are faced with just as a straight person will never be able to understand in-depth what it is like to be gay. As a straight person, it is hard for my mom to grasp that not believing in the legality of gay marriage is a prejudice. My point here is I understand why a man would question the comments made in the original post, because there is no way you can comprehend the full truth.
As for the statement, regarding “man’s need to take a greater responsibility…” Its hard for me to argue this because it is a societal issue to make change but I do believe the woman has a valid point. 1) Successful role modeling happens across demographic lines, but research shows positive role models within ones same culture, gender, etc is most effective. 2) It seems less legit when someone is arguing their own cause. I do a lot of racial reconciliation work and feel respected in those moments. But as soon as I make a case for GLBT equality, I am dismissed for taking things too personal.
(I want to reiterate, that none of this intends to remove the reality that men can suffer from abuse too and that it is no less horrible when it happens) Thank you for reading my thoughts.
http://3freester.com/
Rwandan Children Born of Rape, published by the Aperture Foundation. Inspired by the people he met on this project, Torgovnik co-founded Foundation Rwanda, established to improve the lives of Rwandan children born of rape.
3freester
Re:
The power inequities (and hate crimes) apply to all minorities may it be women, black, gay, Hispanic, Jewish...But even within these subgroups, the majority of rape/abuse victims are women and the majority of the violators are men. As the article shows, even though genocide is happening across the sexes, it is mainly the women that are tortured and raped prior to death or will possibly have to birth and raise or give up a child.
Halloween Decorating Ideas 2009
From the Heart
Who could ever forget those moments of pain and suffering, the violence, not knowing what was coming next? But who also wants to inflict pain on their own child? The choice was really very simple for me; the reality, another story entirely. I do not regret, but I do fight EVERY day. I fight how I feel, how people close to me feel, how strangers think!
Of course it is hard! I don't think anyone knows how hard it is until you've done it. Even people close to you will think they can understand, but they just can't. Which is, I'm sure, true for many other things. The fact is...love wins. That is what gets me through, pure love. Whether it is associated with God is a mute point. Having pain inflicted upon you and inflicting pain on someone else are two very different things. Having my daughter makes me feel stronger. I will always love her. I don't ever want her to feel what I felt.
As far as the male, female issue goes....rape is terrible regardless of gender. Men, however, do not have the fear and burden of pregnancy. It is essentially what will always make them less sympathetic to the plight of the female. What I don't understand is why men take offense at responsiblity? Why is it so absurd that the responsibility of protecting women should be placed upon the dominant gender? Does anyone object to the US involvement in WWII? How is this different? Shouldn't the stronger forces fight to protect the innocent? Isn't that what the mother who is raped has done for her child?
Everyone has an excuse. It is a measure of our society at the moment. I only hope my daughter will understand morality as I do. I only hope she will realize that the love in her is what matters, not where she came from. Stories give me hope and understanding. Thank goodness for them or I would feel so alone!
العاب بنات -
العاب بنات - العاب - العاب فلاش - لعبة - لعبة بنات - العاب تلبيس - تلبيس - العاب طبخ - طبخ - العاب مكياج - مكياج - العاب دولز - دولز - العاب براتز - براتز - العاب باربي - باربي - العاب هانا مونتانا - هانا مونتانا - جوال - موبايل - ثيمات - نغمات -بلوتوث - العاب جوال - برامج جوال - رسائل -مسجات
thank you for this nice
thank you for this nice article..thanx more
شات مجلة حواء مسجات منتديات عالم حواء العاب بنات العاب
Perhaps if God was not
Perhaps if God was not sexist and did his part in revenge, we would not have to think about the rapist being Gods chosen or going to heaven before his female victim!