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Kmart's Abstinence Pants Maker Says: Yes You Can!

Yes, I said "abstinence pants." Kmart in-house designer Piper & Blue has jazzed up this year's summer collection with a pair of sweatpants for teen girls that say "True Love Waits" in your choice of colored bubble letters. No, there is no corresponding set for boys.

But there is an official Piper & Blue designers' blog that lets you know how you should be thinking about your summer couture. And maybe it's just me, but some of the suggestions seem a little risque for the True Love Waits crowd. "Top garments like coats and jackets are what an onlooker sees first," warns the blog. What do they see next? Well, if you wear their "football jersey," that would be "a casual outfit that's super stylish and easily accessible!" Easily accessible? Uh oh. "These days, you don't need a bank account like Britney's to get Lindsay's look." You, too, can model your style on two of our culture's pillars of Christian morality. That particular post is entitled, "Hollywood Glam? Yes You Can!"

Though brimming with advice, the blog is sadly silent on the topic of the abstinence pants. It does, however, justify its similar, albeit less-political sweatpants: "By pairing a cute tee with embellished sweats, you'll look ready for action, not bed." I'll leave interpreting that to you all, in the comments.






Comments

true love waits five minutes

Posted by: hemlock tea on 06/03/08 at 11:56 AM  Respond

I can see it now. Young girls, kitted in tight-fitting, matching sweat ensembles. Only, instead of saying something stupid like, "Juicy", on the butt, they'll say something stupid like, "True Love Waits" on the crotch.

The fact that people will buy and wear this stuff is further proof of America's ongoing decline into utter stupidity.


Posted by: Hayduke on 06/04/08 at 1:31 PM  Respond

Easy does it. It means there are idiots out there that for one reason or another shop at K-mart. I agree that the whole thing silly and conflicted, but citing that people buying (politically)contrived fashion is proof that all of the US is getting dumber is in itself, counterproductive.
I think by reading motherjones we are all trying to differentiate ourselves from mainstream 'stupid' America. But using the same ill logic as right wing 'news' pundits is counter-productive and hypocritical.

Posted by: Oettl on 06/04/08 at 1:45 PM  Respond

That is pretty...odd. Honestly, I support abstinence - along with all other forms of birth control - as a viable option in a full menu of choice for young women and girls. Seriously. However, I have a problem with these pants because they only made them for girls. If they made pants with the same message for young men, I wouldn't be as peeved. Way to reinforce the patriarchy, Kmart.

Damn, when are they coming out with the male version. I gotta get some. Maybe I can find a female size big enough to fit me in the plus sizes area. I'm starting the new fashion trend....YES

Posted by: Nate on 06/04/08 at 3:11 PM  Respond

Oh, that's just disturbing. I've no idea what I'd have done if my Mother had put those in my closet.

an inquiring mind wants to know:
Can you get a coupon for another pair if you turn in an enclosed guarantee declaring your 'Purity Ball' virginity contract to your parents?


This is ridiculous. I want my kids to enjoy the pleasures life has to offer, including sex as long as it's done responsibly. Why delay your kids' enjoyment of sex? That's just plain mean!

Posted by: Marcel on 06/04/08 at 8:55 PM  Respond

Marcel.

In 1944 at age seventeen I sailed from England with three other first trippers, I was the eldest. New York, then Jersey City. I left still virginal and the other three left syphilitic.

My condition, and self respect, partly because of that experience, prevailed until I left the sea, and married at age 25.My wife was
three years my senior and an ex U S N. Australian employee
was similar.

No. Religion had nothing to do with it I was then, and am still,a lifelong Atheist. With HIV, and other conditions today, to add to the already long list of reasons for abstinence being indicated as the best and most sensible course. I can only say it worked for me, but if you want to pursue it another way then it is your prerogative, as long as you accept responsibility for the consequences.
tomedgar@halenet.com.au

Posted by: TomEdgar on 06/04/08 at 11:15 PM  Respond

Oettl:

What are you on about? I don't think that people who shop at K-Mart are idiots. But the fact that people buy and wear stuff like this is most certainly further proof that American businesses continue to dumb down her children. And stupid parents go right along with it.

If you require proof, on the whole, as to how stupid our kids are becoming, compare American scolastic requirements and achievements to those of kids in, say, India.

People in the USA are getting dumber and have been for some time now. Stupid, ill-informed, confused people are far easier to control. Stating that Americans are dumb and getting dumber is not counter-productive, as you claim, but productive, as it addresses a very real and serious issue. You can't fix what you cannot admit to.

I have no idea why you'd bring up right-wing news pundits in response to my comments, but I'll tell you this. I have no tolerance for extremists of either side. Far lefties are every bit as rediculous (and annoying) as far righties.

Reading Mother Jones is no guarentee that you'll be smarter or well informed. Stating something like that is the same thing as a righty stating that listening to Rush Limbaugh makes you informed and intelligent.

Trust no one. Trust nothing but that which you've proven to yourself. Otherwise, you're just a sucker with another person's opinion dripping from your lips.

Posted by: Hayduke on 06/05/08 at 8:46 AM  Respond

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