Wow. Our experiment is off to a great start—let's see if we can finish it off sooner than expected.
"She got a little upset. Girls do that."
—Ohio state Senator Kris Jordan (R), to a deputy after his wife called 911 to request assistance because Jordan was pushing her around, drunk, for what she said was one of "numerous times" over the last two years. Last week, the city prosecutor announced he won't file charges. (H/t Plunderbund, which anyone interested in Ohio politics should follow.)