The Mother Jones Poll

We <a href="/news/feature/1996/10/results100496.html">asked</a> our readers to suggest a new campaign slogan for Bob Dole — one that he could actually remember. We were inundated with responses: plenty of bad old age jokes, tobacco references, citrus fruit puns, tasteless arm jokes, stage-diving jokes, and gratuitous sex jokes. Plus <a href="/news/feature/1996/10/duh_dole.ram">one</a> that we just didn’t think would work so well in print. Here’s the MoJo Wire picks for the…

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Top Ten New Campaign Slogans for Bob Dole:

10. “Bob Dole, I’ve known more presidents than you can name.” (Hector Acuna)

9. “The anti-drug (except tobacco, or other addictions that pay well) President.” (Dwight Ratcliff)

8. “Sure I’m old, but I’ve got a Web page.” (Dave Sanders)

7. “Let’s turn America into a Pineapple Republic.” (J. Peter Saint-Andre)

6. “The more Bics you flick, the more Doles you pick!” (Lee Eisenstein)

5. “He puts the O back in GOP.” (Dave Isaacson)

4. “I did *not* fall off the stage. I thought that was the mosh pit.” (“fletcher”)

3. “You kids knock it off back there or I’ll stop this country and you can all walk to the 21st century!!” (John Gerardi)

2. “Backwards or forwards — it’s still Bob.” (Mike MacHarg)

1. “Newt’s in the past, Liddy don’t sass, My tax cut’s a gas, Let’s kick Willy’s ass.” (Nick Teti)

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YOUR GIFT DOUBLES THROUGH FRIDAY

Right now, every dollar you give goes twice as far—but only until Friday’s midnight deadline. This is the moment to make your support count double.

In a climate where journalists face mounting pressure to back down, stay silent, or soften their reporting, Mother Jones refuses to flinch. We’re pushing back against intimidation and delivering fierce, independent journalism that holds power accountable—no matter who’s trying to silence us.

But here’s the reality: We’re a nonprofit newsroom with zero corporate backing and no financial cushion. We depend entirely on readers like you to fund the investigations that matter most.

Friday’s 2X match deadline is coming soon. We need you on the team right now. Please chip in and double your impact.

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