The Mother Jones Poll

We asked our readers to suggest a new campaign slogan for Bob Dole — one that he could actually remember. We were inundated with responses: plenty of bad old age jokes, tobacco references, citrus fruit puns, tasteless arm jokes, stage-diving jokes, and gratuitous sex jokes. Plus one that we just didn’t think would work so well in print. Here’s the MoJo Wire picks for the…


Top Ten New Campaign Slogans for Bob Dole:

10. “Bob Dole, I’ve known more presidents than you can name.” (Hector Acuna)

9. “The anti-drug (except tobacco, or other addictions that pay well) President.” (Dwight Ratcliff)

8. “Sure I’m old, but I’ve got a Web page.” (Dave Sanders)

7. “Let’s turn America into a Pineapple Republic.” (J. Peter Saint-Andre)

6. “The more Bics you flick, the more Doles you pick!” (Lee Eisenstein)

5. “He puts the O back in GOP.” (Dave Isaacson)

4. “I did *not* fall off the stage. I thought that was the mosh pit.” (“fletcher”)

3. “You kids knock it off back there or I’ll stop this country and you can all walk to the 21st century!!” (John Gerardi)

2. “Backwards or forwards — it’s still Bob.” (Mike MacHarg)

1. “Newt’s in the past, Liddy don’t sass, My tax cut’s a gas, Let’s kick Willy’s ass.” (Nick Teti)

WE DON'T KNOW

What's going to happen next as the headlines grow crazier and more disconcerting by the day. But we do know the job of an independent, unrelenting press is more important than ever—and the ongoing commitment of MoJo readers to fight for a democracy where facts matter and all can participate is absolutely vital.

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