The Mother Jones Poll

We <a href="/news/feature/1996/10/results100496.html">asked</a> our readers to suggest a new campaign slogan for Bob Dole — one that he could actually remember. We were inundated with responses: plenty of bad old age jokes, tobacco references, citrus fruit puns, tasteless arm jokes, stage-diving jokes, and gratuitous sex jokes. Plus <a href="/news/feature/1996/10/duh_dole.ram">one</a> that we just didn’t think would work so well in print. Here’s the MoJo Wire picks for the…

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Top Ten New Campaign Slogans for Bob Dole:

10. “Bob Dole, I’ve known more presidents than you can name.” (Hector Acuna)

9. “The anti-drug (except tobacco, or other addictions that pay well) President.” (Dwight Ratcliff)

8. “Sure I’m old, but I’ve got a Web page.” (Dave Sanders)

7. “Let’s turn America into a Pineapple Republic.” (J. Peter Saint-Andre)

6. “The more Bics you flick, the more Doles you pick!” (Lee Eisenstein)

5. “He puts the O back in GOP.” (Dave Isaacson)

4. “I did *not* fall off the stage. I thought that was the mosh pit.” (“fletcher”)

3. “You kids knock it off back there or I’ll stop this country and you can all walk to the 21st century!!” (John Gerardi)

2. “Backwards or forwards — it’s still Bob.” (Mike MacHarg)

1. “Newt’s in the past, Liddy don’t sass, My tax cut’s a gas, Let’s kick Willy’s ass.” (Nick Teti)

HERE ARE THE FACTS:

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ONE MORE QUICK THING:

Our fall fundraising drive is off to a rough start, and we very much need to raise $250,000 in the next couple of weeks. If you value the journalism you get from Mother Jones, please help us do it with a donation today.

As we wrote over the summer, traffic has been down at Mother Jones and a lot of sites with many people thinking news is less important now that Donald Trump is no longer president. But if you're reading this, you're not one of those people, and we're hoping we can rally support from folks like you who really get why our reporting matters right now. And that's how it's always worked: For 45 years now, a relatively small group of readers (compared to everyone we reach) who pitch in from time to time has allowed Mother Jones to do the type of journalism the moment demands and keep it free for everyone else.

Please pitch in with a donation during our fall fundraising drive if you can. We can't afford to come up short, and there's still a long way to go by November 5.

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