Passionate Pioneer ISO…

Let our journalists help you make sense of the noise: Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily newsletter and get a recap of news that matters.


“Language, A Key Mechanism of Control,” a pamphlet distributed in 1990 by Newt Gingrich’s GOPAC, gave “Good Republicans” a little advice on rhetoric:

A set of words to use when speaking about other Good Republicans …and a second list to use when speaking about, well, everyone else, particularly their political adversaries.

Active(ly)
Activist
Building
Candid(ly)
Care(ing)
Challenge
Change
Children
Choice/choose
Citizen
Commitment
Common sense
Compete
Confident
Conflict
Control
Courage
Crusade
Debate
Dream
Duty
Eliminate good-time in prison
Empower(ment)
Fair
Family
Freedom
Hard work
Help
Humane
Incentive
Initiative
Lead
Learn
Legacy
Liberty
Light
Listen
Mobilize
Moral
Movement
Opportunity
Passionate
Peace
Pioneer
Precious
Premise
Preserve
Principle(d)
Pristine
Pro-(issue) flag, children, environment
Prosperity
Protect
Proud/pride
Provide
Reform
Rights
Share
Strength
Success
Tough
Truth
Unique
Vision
We/us/our
Workfare

Anti-(issue) flag, family, child, jobs
Betray
Coercion
Collapse
“Compassion” is not enough.
Consequences
Corruption
Crisis
Decay
Deeper
Destroy
Destructive
Devour
Endanger
Failure
Greed
Hypocrisy
Ideological
Impose
Incompetent
Insecure
Liberal
Lie
Limit(s)
Pathetic
Permissive attitude
Radical
Self-serving
Sensationalists
Shallow
Sick
They/them
Threaten
Traitors
Unionized bureaucracy
Urgent
Waste

This type of self-help for self-promoters is popping up everywhere. A Man’s Guide to Advertising for a Woman (Loompanics Unlimited, 1996) provides “examples of acceptable phrases that can be substituted for crass ones that are likely to dissaude responses” (or, in the GOPAC case, votes):

Instead of Try
Looking for physical relationship Looking for snuggles or cuddles
Let’s get naked Looking for romance and intimacy
Can’t get enough of it Hopeless Romantic
Virile Athletic, energetic and passionate
Seeking oral gratification Seeking liberated woman
Let’s make love like animals Enjoys camping and outdoors
Let’s have a wild weekend Loves fires and candlelight dinners

We decided to try our hand at this euphemistic exercise and write some personal ads for Newt Gingrich himself. (Remember, red words are for friendly Republicans. Blue words are for everyone else.) His ad in the “Boys Seeking Girls” section might read:

Passionate pioneer

ISO pristine, principled citizen to join my crusade for moral prosperity. Shallow, self-serving, incompetent liberals with permissive attitudes need not apply. They make me sick.

 

If Newt was looking for a running mate instead, his “Other Seeking” ad might look like this:

Commonsense Reform Leader

seeks opportunity to build commitment with confident, passionate, pro-flag activist. Must be caring, yet dream of control. Unionized bureaucratic anti-child liberals impose ideological corruption and threaten crisis.

Is it any wonder Colin Powell refused the Republican ticket?

IT'S NOT THAT WE'RE SCREWED WITHOUT TRUMP:

"It's that we're screwed with or without him if we can't show the public that what we do matters for the long term," writes Mother Jones CEO Monika Bauerlein as she kicks off our drive to raise $350,000 in donations from readers by July 17.

This is a big one for us. It's our first time asking for an outpouring of support since screams of FAKE NEWS and so much of what Trump stood for made everything we do so visceral. Like most newsrooms, we face incredibly hard budget realities, and it's unnerving needing to raise big money when traffic is down.

So, as we ask you to consider supporting our team's journalism, we thought we'd slow down and check in about where Mother Jones is and where we're going after the chaotic last several years. This comparatively slow moment is also an urgent one for Mother Jones: You can read more in "Slow News Is Good News," and if you're able to, please support our team's hard-hitting journalism and help us reach our big $350,000 goal with a donation today.

payment methods

IT'S NOT THAT WE'RE SCREWED WITHOUT TRUMP:

"It's that we're screwed with or without him if we can't show the public that what we do matters for the long term," writes Mother Jones CEO Monika Bauerlein as she kicks off our drive to raise $350,000 in donations from readers by July 17.

This is a big one for us. So, as we ask you to consider supporting our team's journalism, we thought we'd slow down and check in about where Mother Jones is and where we're going after the chaotic last several years. This comparatively slow moment is also an urgent one for Mother Jones: You can read more in "Slow News Is Good News," and if you're able to, please support our team's hard-hitting journalism and help us reach our big $350,000 goal with a donation today.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate