Aqua Teen Movie Not Very Good

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Yes, yes, you’re saying, “in other news: Pope Catholic.” I’m sure the Mother Jones editors are like “what kind of dimwitted yokel is this so-called Party Ben, sullying our esteemed web site with blather about the latest stoner cartoon.” Indeed. But in my defense, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” the show, was at one point the funniest, oddest thing on television, belying its rep as “TV for slackers” with rapid-fire dialog that rewarded repeat viewings. Like “Monty Python,” the best episodes built a bizarro world of utter nonsense, but then respected this world’s inner logic, and pushed the rules to their logical, insane conclusions. The strange format of 12- or 13-minute episodes made the action dense and rollicking, like a great comic short story.

We all knew the movie was a crazy idea, but I secretly had high hopes: like the long-rumored “Sprockets” project, it seemed almost zen-like in its willingness to take a concept so completely ridiculous and barely even there, and stretch it out to fit the length of a feature film. If it worked, it would be the greatest thing ever, really. But this kind of trick is a real high-wire act, and the producers seemed to just give up. The film opens with a brilliant song urging good movie-going behavior that should be shown before every feature (“why did you bring your baby to this film / take it out and leave it in the street!”), but then it’s downhill from there, with long stretches of filler and little of the transcendently silly dialog from the best episodes. I probably spent a majority of the movie feeling a bit depressed and embarrassed. Plus, worst of all, they didn’t include the frat aliens (from a mid-Season Two episode when the show was at its creative peak), whose boozy, weirdly homoerotic actions are made all the more hilarious because, well, they’re aliens. Watch that episode here. And Mother Jones, I promise I’m not stoned! I just like surreal comedy. Hopefully Adult Swim can have mercy, put Aqua Teen to rest, and come up with something else just as brilliant.

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

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