Maybe It’s Maybelline (Then Again, Maybe It’s Placenta)

Beauty secrets of the rich and unsqueamish

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Miracle Ingredient: Cow Colostrum
Eva Beauty Epicuren Colostrum Cream; $88/2 oz.
Claim: Bovine postnatal secretion “acts as a super night repair and cell regenerator.”
Don’t hate it because… If you’re skeeved by this one, stop reading now.

Miracle Ingredient: Gold
Chantecaille Nano Gold Energizing Cream; $420/1.7 oz.
Claim: “Consistently replenishes skin’s energy using nanotechnology to safely deliver the power of pure gold.”
Don’t hate it because… A 2006 study found that gold nanoparticles damage skin cells.

Miracle Ingredient: Foreskin
SkinMedica tns Recovery Complex; $145/less than an ounce
Claim: Reverses sun damage, as seen on Oprah
Don’t hate it because… Anti-circumcision activists are way ahead of you.

Miracle Ingredient: Placenta
Plazan Placenta Collagen Mask; $94 each
Claim: Placentas harvested in maternity wards provide “intensive skin rejuvenation.”
Don’t hate it because… Placentas contain estrogen, which has been linked to premature puberty in girls.

Miracle Ingredient: Fetal Cells
Neocutis Bio-Restorative Skin Cream; $130/1.8 oz.
Claim: Cultured skin cells from an aborted fetus “heal wounds without scarring.”
Don’t hate it because… It offends even the most committed pro-choicers.

HERE ARE THE FACTS:

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ONE MORE QUICK THING:

Our fall fundraising drive is off to a rough start, and we very much need to raise $250,000 in the next couple of weeks. If you value the journalism you get from Mother Jones, please help us do it with a donation today.

As we wrote over the summer, traffic has been down at Mother Jones and a lot of sites with many people thinking news is less important now that Donald Trump is no longer president. But if you're reading this, you're not one of those people, and we're hoping we can rally support from folks like you who really get why our reporting matters right now. And that's how it's always worked: For 45 years now, a relatively small group of readers (compared to everyone we reach) who pitch in from time to time has allowed Mother Jones to do the type of journalism the moment demands and keep it free for everyone else.

Please pitch in with a donation during our fall fundraising drive if you can. We can't afford to come up short, and there's still a long way to go by November 5.

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