Help Me, Virtual Will.I.Am, You’re My Only Hope

While there was much to enjoy during television election coverage last night, from even Juan Williams on Fox News and Stephen Colbert getting weepy to Chris Matthews desperately trying to hold back from calling the thing at 8pm EST, there was nothing more ridiculous than CNN’s new “holographic” technology. At a seemingly nail-biting moment, with results starting to trickle in, Wolf Blitzer stopped everything to announce something “never before seen on television”: a live shot of a reporter “beamed in” to the studio from a tent in Grant Park. Of course, Wolf couldn’t really see her, so it wasn’t really a hologram (that’s why I’m using so many quotes), it was more like an highly-coordinated multi-camera green-screen, similar to the 1st and Ten system for football games. But that didn’t stop them from talking about it for what seemed like 17 hours. Wolf and Anderson seemed most excited about using the hologram system to isolate reporters from the noisy crowds, apparently not understanding that they were still using the same old microphones and it was the tent that was keeping the crowds at bay.

So, CNN, you’ve spent untold billions of dollars on this technology, what are you going to do with it next? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Virtual Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas, who wandered into the tent and got himself Tron-i-fied. “We’re at an eve of a brand new day,” he declared, flickeringly, but then immediately turned to more important matters: “All this technology, I’m being beamed to you, like in Star Wars and stuff?” Watch what Vulture called a “momentous” appearance after the jump.