I’ve been making a real effort to be better at Twitter lately. I’ve been tweeting more, striking a conversational tone, and trying to “just be myself,” like people who know more about Twitter than me told me to. So I was thrilled this week when my follower count zoomed up from 3,030 to 3,066 over the course of just a few days. My efforts must have paid off, I thought.
But then, I looked at my new followers. They all seemed pretty annoying. IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. Check it out:
“Hipster-friendly music practitioner”? “Total travel advocate”? “Beer practitioner”? Ew!
The formula for the handles seems to be: first name, middle initial, last name. And the bio items look like they’re generated from a list of bland hobbies and jobs or something. All over the backdrop of some irrelevant stock art.
Here are some of their tweets:
You can’t just wish for a better life. You have to create it.
— SarahSSmall (@SarahSSmall) October 19, 2014
Tonight on @WNTonight investors react to Ebola scare, fears of global slowdown. What does it mean for your retirement savings?
— BerniceWHenry (@BerniceWHenry) October 17, 2014
Those of you who “elected” obama, this is all on you. He’s a fake, you’re confused, and now we ALL are having to pay for this foolishness…
— AdelineJBuckingham (@AdelineJBucking) October 19, 2014
Creepy Twitter lady bots, what do you want from me?