You Will Die Alone in a Ditch With a Headache—But at Least the Headache Won’t Have Been Your Fault

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-93662965/stock-photo-silhouette-of-an-alcoholic-in-despair.html?src=j6Z2Zt8OnBK_C1mbgzQSig-1-3">thaumatr0pe</a>/Shutterstock

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Alcohol is great. Maybe not health-wise, and maybe not for your uncle who has a bunch of DUIs, but, in general, society has long agreed that alcohol is great. The bad thing about alcohol is that sometimes drinking it makes your head hurt the next day. In the world, we call this a hangover. Some people get them worse than other people. The lucky ducks who seem spry and dandy no matter how much they put away the night before often offer unluckier ducks #smarttips for not getting hangovers. Drink water! Eat grease! Meditate! Pray! Have you tried barre classes? These tips probably never work for you—or at least never work consistently for you. (Everything works anecdotally once in a while.) But that’s probably your fault, right? I mean everything is your fault. That’s why you drink so much in the first place. Your parents got divorced because of you. Your spouse is unhappy because of you. The Dow Jones is down because of you. America is entangled in a never-ending mess in the Middle East because of you. Hollywood keeps rebooting Spider-Man because of you. These hangover tips aren’t working because of you, too, right?

Wrong.

Raiding the fridge or downing glasses of water after a night of heavy drinking won’t improve your sore head the next day, Dutch research suggests.

Instead, a study concluded, the only way to prevent a hangover is to drink less alcohol.

The bad news is: You will die with a headache. The good news is: It won’t be your fault.

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Thank you!

We didn't know what to expect when we told you we needed to raise $400,000 before our fiscal year closed on June 30, and we're thrilled to report that our incredible community of readers contributed some $415,000 to help us keep charging as hard as we can during this crazy year.

You just sent an incredible message: that quality journalism doesn't have to answer to advertisers, billionaires, or hedge funds; that newsrooms can eke out an existence thanks primarily to the generosity of its readers. That's so powerful. Especially during what's been called a "media extinction event" when those looking to make a profit from the news pull back, the Mother Jones community steps in.

The months and years ahead won't be easy. Far from it. But there's no one we'd rather face the big challenges with than you, our committed and passionate readers, and our team of fearless reporters who show up every day.

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