How are you? How are you feeling? Are you feeling good? Are you, by chance, feeling too good? Are you flying too high on borrowed wings? Maybe you need a bit of a punch in the stomach to bring you back down to Earth and remind you that in life there are hills and valleys; that this vacation on Creation is, well, not all champagne and strawberries. I guess what I'm asking is, would you like to feel nauseous? You look to me like you might like to feel nauseous. C'mon! A little nausea never hurt anyone! It builds character!
It's been so cold and terrible lately that I've really been down in the ditch emotionally. They call it SAD, they call it bad, they call it late for dinner. I know it as ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. But put away your shrug 'cause, babe, I got a helluva drug: the kids call it red panda:
Twitter erupted into craziness Thursday night after a dress went viral. What color was the dress? Some thought it was gold and white; some thought it was blue and black. People had fun. Fun was had! Had was fun! It was a good time and times were good. But this being the world we live in some Serious Cops had to flash their lights and start ticketing people for having fun.
I want to apologize to everyone upset with Dress Twitter. Sorry we had fun making jokes about something silly. We're monsters.
There are a lot of cops on the internet. Everyone's got a set of cuffs and a gun—and whatever crime they think you've committed, well, they're ready to slap those cuffs on you and sentence you to 20 years hard internet. A lot of commenters on this site are cops. Journalism Cops. I'm sure a bunch of people will comment on this post saying, "why is this news?"
Anyway, no one likes Internet Cops. Internet Cops is probably the only police procedural CBS has ever passed on.
#TheDress is a great way to find out who on Twitter takes themself way too seriously.