Fiji Water Makes McSteamy's Threesome Sex Tape!
Okay, so I watched the McSteamy sex tape.
Since I got a tip that Fiji Water made an appearance. You see, our next issue's cover story is on the ubiquity of the fashionable water that may be the epitome of cool, but is also imported from a military dictatorship and is far from eco anything.
From what I can tell, and I'm not really a sex-tape connoisseur, this particular three-minutes-I'll-never-get-back offers up naked C- and D-list actors (Grey's Anatomy's Eric Dane and his wife of Noxema fame, Rebecca Gayheart) hanging out with a whiny lady (and apparently former Miss USA, how those pageants embolden) who makes phone calls half-naked for the camera and complains about the staying power of lighted rubber duckies. (Since this is a family channel I am not embedding the video here, but you can head over to Gawker at your own risk for the link.)
They just talk about getting it on; there is no real action. And we only care, apparently, because there are lots of boob shots. And talk about how sexy and cool they are. ("You're the prettiest girls this side of Mulholland;" not a great boast when your competition stops at the ocean.) And would it be the talk of the entertainment news shows proclaiming the glory of "Dane's Anatomy" if it were two dudes and a girl? Maybe, but Dane's career might head in a different direction. Not to mention, the last sex tape that was actually a "tape" was probably something George Michael was involved in in the early 90s. Enter the sex MP3!
But back to my work mission.