July 17, 2018

OK, How About Novichok? Maybe It’s Novichok.

Yui Mok/PA Wire via ZUMA

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So here’s my theory. Maybe Putin has told Trump that if he doesn’t play ball his kids will end up in the morgue. See, they all have microscopic Novichok capsules buried in their bodies that are hooked up to dead-man switches. If anything happens to Putin, or if Trump gets out of line, a capsule breaks and one of Trump’s kids dies. And just to keep this uppermost in his mind, every once in a while someone overseas mysteriously drops dead from Novichok poisoning and the police are notified.

No? Why not? I’ve seen stuff like this in James Bond movies that were way better written than the Trump presidency. Frankly, I wouldn’t put much of anything beyond the schlocky writing staff of this show.

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3 DAYS LEFT—AND EVERYTHING RIDING ON IT

A full one-third of our annual fundraising comes in this month alone. That’s risky, because a strong December means our newsroom is on the beat and reporting at full strength—but a weak one means budget cuts and hard choices ahead.

With just 3 days left, we need a huge surge in reader support to get to our $400,000 year-end goal. Whether you've given before or this is your first time, your contribution right now matters. All gifts are 3X matched and tax-deductible.

Managing an independent, nonprofit newsroom is staggeringly hard. There’s no cushion in our budget—no backup revenue, no corporate safety net. We can’t afford to fall short, and we can’t rely on corporations or deep-pocketed interests to fund the fierce, investigative journalism Mother Jones exists to do. That’s why we need you right now. Please chip in to help close the gap.

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