My Only Comment on Handshake-gate

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This guy says it all.

Actually, I think it would be cool if we had a nationwide election to choose the perfect spouse for Flava Flav. We could have caucuses and primaries across the land to choose the two top contenders, and then have a nationwide popular vote via text message to select the winner. That’s how we’re going to select presidents in 2020 anyway.

Or, if you are a brown person, the chip installed in your brain by President Giuliani will automatically know who you want to vote for.

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ONLY HOURS LEFT—AND EVERYTHING RIDING ON IT

A full one-third of our annual fundraising comes in this month alone. That’s risky, because a strong December means our newsroom is on the beat and reporting at full strength—but a weak one means budget cuts and hard choices ahead.

With just hours left, we need a huge surge in reader support to get to our $400,000 year-end goal. Whether you've given before or this is your first time, your contribution right now matters. All gifts are 3X matched and tax-deductible.

Managing an independent, nonprofit newsroom is staggeringly hard. There’s no cushion in our budget—no backup revenue, no corporate safety net. We can’t afford to fall short, and we can’t rely on corporations or deep-pocketed interests to fund the fierce, investigative journalism Mother Jones exists to do. That’s why we need you right now. Please chip in to help close the gap.

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