False Positives

The 10 best excuses given by athletes busted for doping.

Photo of Roger Clemens: Wikimedia Commons


ATHLETE

WHAT HE SAID CAUSED THE POSITIVE RESULT

Tour de France winner Floyd Landis

Too much Jack Daniel’s

Czech tennis player Petr Korda

Veal dinner

Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson

Sarsaparilla-and-ginseng energy drink

American sprinter Dennis Mitchell

5 beers and 4 sex acts the night before the race

SF Giants slugger Barry Bonds

Flaxseed oil

Pitcher Roger Clemens

Lidocaine and vitamin B12

British shot-putter Paul Edwards

Drinking a bottle of shampoo (seriously)

Tennis champ Andre Agassi

Drinking his assistant’s meth-spiked soda

Italian soccer player Marco Borriello

Rubbing STD medicine on himself

Olympic cyclist Tyler Hamilton

A “vanishing twin” absorbed into his mother’s womb. (Don’t ask.)

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  • Elizabeth Gettelman is a former managing editor and public affairs director at Mother Jones. To follow her on Twitter, click here.