Here’s the Mean iPhone Post I Promised You


So the new iPhone 5S comes in new colors; has a faster processor; and a slightly better camera; and a fingerprint sensor. Plus there’s a motion sensor chip built in, which is supposed to be great for exercise apps. This is in addition to the lower-priced iPhone 5C, which is not just plastic, but “unapologetically plastic.” This possibly sets a new world record for the most pretentiously Apple-ish thing ever said.

I know that everyone is going to immediately accuse me of hating Apple, despite the many Apple products I currently own,1 but this sure doesn’t sound very revolutionary. In fact, it sounds tired. That’s no big surprise, really, since the smartphone space is getting pretty mature. And maybe it doesn’t matter. For now, at least, I imagine that gazillions of people will convince themselves that a silver faceplate and a fingerprint sensor are the coolest gizmos in the world if Apple says they are. And the cheaper 5C is certainly a perfectly good attempt to do a bit of old-school market segmentation.

As for me, my 4S continues to work fine. I sure don’t see anything in today’s announcement to make me rush out and want to replace it.

1In fact, I hate Apple because of the many Apple products I own. Their relentless desire to control what customers can and can’t do with their products drives me up a wall.

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Democracy and journalism are in crisis mode—and have been for a while. So how about doing something different?

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