What happened today?

I can barely keep up with the news anymore. Here is just today:

Donald Trump’s inauguration committee is under investigation. Apparently they managed to spend twice as much as any other recent president for an inaugural celebration that was half the size of any other recent president.
Maria Butina pleaded guilty to infiltrating the NRA on behalf of Russia.
Trump is now on his fourth (fifth?) version of events surrounding hush money paid to his mistresses.
But wait. Trump was present at meetings where hush money was discussed (though note the source).
Republicans who eagerly impeached Bill Clinton and called for the prosecution of John Edwards are now busily taking to the airwaves to insist that extramarital sex is no big deal, payoffs don’t count as campaign contributions, and lying about trivial sex stuff is just something everyone does.
Before big events, Trump crushes up Adderall and snorts it.
Wait. What? I can’t tell if that one is a joke or not.
Both Newt Gingrich and Jared Kushner are rumored to be candidates for Trump’s chief of staff. Wouldn’t it be awesome if they were co-chiefs?
Trump has decided he doesn’t want to shut down the government after all.
The Senate voted to end US support for the war in Yemen.