MoJo Guide to Last Minute Halloween Costumes

Rejected by the Mother Jones Costume Department


Still stuck without a costume for Halloween? Disillusioned by the onslaught of “sexy” versions of literary characters and public servants? Enraged by the appropriation of other cultures and offensive immigration policies?

Never fear, Mother Jones is here! Some last-minute alternatives for all you busy muckrakers:

George W. Bush—He’s baaaaaaaaaack!

Vader in Afghanistan—Pull out your Darth Vader mask from Comic Con and pair with your desert BDU’s.

Climate Change—Option 1: Go as a Maldives cabinet member in a business suit and snorkel. Option 2: If you live in a coastal city wear an inter tube and put a line of masking tape to mark how high sea levels will have to rise to put you and your fellow party goers underwater. Add a 350 on the back for good measure,

The Great 2009 Bailout—Wear a burlap sack stuffed full of money, or a suit and stuff the pockets.

Health Care for All—Don’t be sick. Hold a Canadian or French passport.

The Yes Men—Um…you just have to figure out exactly what a Survivaball suit is.

Greenwashed Starlet—Wear your favorite eco-slogan shirt printed on organic cotton, stiletto heels, big sunglasses, and carry a bottle of Fiji Water.

Lady Blogger—A lap top case, your Twitter handle on your back, and some symbol of your content (newspapers, tech gadgets, your kid, etc.).

Factchecker/Mother Jones Intern—Give yourself ink stained hands, slip a pen behind your ear, carry a telephone reciever that you talk on periodically, and drink coffee all night long—lots and lots of coffee.

David Corn—Don a trench coat, classic understated scarf, White House Press Pass, and hard soled shoes comfortable for chasing down leads.

Kevin Drum—Don some glasses, bring your laptop, and be accompanied by two pleasantly plump and very photogenic cats.

Just remember, Sarah Palin was soooo last year.

Are there any we forgot?

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