Trump Signs Spending Bill, Holds Press Briefing to Gripe About It

President Trump has signed the 2018 spending bill, but he wants everyone to know he’s not happy about it. You see, Democrats hate America and keep demanding that we fund domestic programs like national parks and food stamps and clean water and other frills that we don’t need. This makes it hard to build border walls and additional aircraft carriers, especially after cutting taxes by $1.5 trillion. The answer, Trump says, is to eliminate the filibuster so that Republicans can just pass anything they want. Also, he wants a line-item veto, even though that’s unconstitutional.

So that’s that for the big press briefing.

UPDATE 1: I’m watching right now, and Trump is laboriously reading off all the various military toys that have been funded by this bill. Helicopters, ships, planes, tanks: you name it, Trump is going to build it.

UPDATE 2: He’s very happy about “the opioids.”

UPDATE 3: He’s not happy with the $1.6 billion for the wall.

UPDATE 4: DACA didn’t get funded because of Democrats. Republicans wanted to fund it, but Democrats just wouldn’t do it. There is not a single Hispanic in the entire country who is going to buy this.

UPDATE 5: And that’s a wrap. POTUS has left the stage.