Donald Trump Flies to Singapore After Triumphant G7 Meeting. I Am Not Being Sarcastic.

Michael Kappeler/DPA via ZUMA

Apparently our president decided he was starving for some badly-needed media attention last week. Here’s the rundown:

  • On Thursday announces he will be leaving the G7 meeting early.
  • On Friday announces he will pardon Muhammad Ali even though Ali has nothing to be pardoned for and Trump surely knows it.
  • Follows up with an obviously prepared provocation that Russia should be readmitted to the G7 even though Russia itself doesn’t care.
  • Arrives late to the G7 meeting, forcing the postponement of his bilateral meeting with French President Emmanuel Macron.
  • After pissing everyone off with his “national security” tariffs on steel and aluminum, announces that he thinks the G7 should just drop all tariffs entirely.
  • Tells reporters his relationship with G7 leaders is a “10,” but then blasts them for their trade policies. “It’s going to stop. Or we’ll stop trading with them….We’re like the piggy bank that everybody’s robbing, and that ends.”
  • Promises to control Iran’s nuclear ambitions “with or without them”—whatever that’s supposed to mean.
  • On Saturday morning, arrives late for an 8 a.m. breakfast held with the G7’s Gender Equality Advisory Council. Since we know Trump is an early riser, this is obviously a calculated insult.
  • Skips out early as promised, missing sessions on climate change and clean energy, as well as a working lunch to discuss protecting the world’s oceans.

Mission accomplished! It’s all meaningless spectacle, but Trump has completely dominated media coverage for days and demonstrated that he’s an alpha male who couldn’t possibly care less about other world leaders—and if they don’t like it, then fuck ’em. Now he’s going to Singapore, where there will be lots of pageantry and red carpets and they know how to treat a guy right. As a bonus, he has also confirmed to the folks back home that he doesn’t care about gender equality, climate change, or any of that environmental crap.

For Trump, this is the definition of a successful meeting. He literally got every single thing he wanted out of it.

And do check out this photo. Sure, Trump’s expression is priceless, but it’s really Shinzo Abe who tells the story here. He knows exactly what Trump is up to:

Jesco Denzel/DPA via ZUMA