Monkey see, monkey chug

Get your news from a source that’s not owned and controlled by oligarchs. Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily.


It may seem just conventional wisdom that a hard-knock life can drive you to drinking. But could you prove it scientifically? That’s what researchers at the US National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism set out to do in a bizarre study involving 97 rhesus macaque monkeys, reports the NEW SCIENTIST.

First, the scientists separated 40 of the monkeys from their mothers at birth to simulate a “difficult childhood.” Sure enough, when the researchers offered the motherless macaques a sweetened alcohol solution 3-5 years later, they lapped up the sauce more heavily than their family-values-raised counterparts. The results are straightforward — unlike, the MoJo Wire presumes, the problem of what to do with 40 emotionally-scarred, boozed-out primates.

Will the study prove useful? “We believe these results generalise to humans,” says one researcher, suggesting that stress-prone children could be identified and taught to cope from an early age to prevent future Alcoholics Anonymous candidacies. The monkeys, sprawled under the bar stools and slurring the lyrics to “Danny Boy,” could not be reached for comment.

DECEMBER IS MAKE OR BREAK

A full one-third of our annual fundraising comes in this month alone. That’s risky, because a strong December means our newsroom is on the beat and reporting at full strength—but a weak one means budget cuts and hard choices ahead.

The December 31 deadline is closing in fast. To reach our $400,000 goal, we need readers who’ve never given before to join the ranks of MoJo donors. And we need our steadfast supporters to give again—any amount today.

Managing an independent, nonprofit newsroom is staggeringly hard. There’s no cushion in our budget—no backup revenue, no corporate safety net. We can’t afford to fall short, and we can’t rely on corporations or deep-pocketed interests to fund the fierce, investigative journalism Mother Jones exists to do.

That’s why we need you right now. Please chip in to help close the gap.

DECEMBER IS MAKE OR BREAK

A full one-third of our annual fundraising comes in this month alone. That’s risky, because a strong December means our newsroom is on the beat and reporting at full strength—but a weak one means budget cuts and hard choices ahead.

The December 31 deadline is closing in fast. To reach our $400,000 goal, we need readers who’ve never given before to join the ranks of MoJo donors. And we need our steadfast supporters to give again—any amount today.

Managing an independent, nonprofit newsroom is staggeringly hard. There’s no cushion in our budget—no backup revenue, no corporate safety net. We can’t afford to fall short, and we can’t rely on corporations or deep-pocketed interests to fund the fierce, investigative journalism Mother Jones exists to do.

That’s why we need you right now. Please chip in to help close the gap.

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate