Some Prison Tips for Bernie Madoff

Fight disinformation: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter and follow the news that matters.

So Bernie Madoff’s spending the weekend in a 7-by-8 jail cell, and come June 16, he’s likely to start a lengthy stint in federal prison. Sure, he’ll probably go to a minimum-security facility, but his new surroundings will take some getting used to. Fortunately, Mother Jones is here to help. While researching our package on the prison meltdown last year, we came across all kinds of helpful info for the would-be white-collar convict. A few tips Madoff might find useful: One, when a fellow prisoner talks about “high class,” he’s more likely talking about Hepatitis C than season tickets to the Met. Two, be wary of opaque financial transactions with shady characters: As a former prisoner told us, “If you bum a smoke and the guy with the cigarettes says, ‘Sure, it’s a twofer,’ you should know a twofer means, ‘I give you one for two, so now you owe me.'” And lastly, read the rest of our advice while you still can—Mother Jones is contraband in some joints.

Photo by Flickr user sabeth718 used under a CC License

DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

Mother Jones was founded to do journalism differently. We stand for justice and democracy. We reject false equivalence. We go after stories others don’t. We’re a nonprofit newsroom, because the kind of truth-telling investigations we do doesn’t happen under corporate ownership.

And we need your support like never before, to fight back against the existential threats American democracy faces. Fundraising for nonprofit media is always a challenge, and we need all hands on deck right now. We have no cushion; we leave it all on the field.

It’s reader support that enables Mother Jones to report the facts that are too difficult, expensive, or inconvenient for other news outlets to uncover. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

payment methods

DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

Mother Jones was founded to do journalism differently. We stand for justice and democracy. We reject false equivalence. We go after stories others don’t. We’re a nonprofit newsroom, because the kind of truth-telling investigations we do doesn’t happen under corporate ownership.

And we need your support like never before, to fight back against the existential threats American democracy faces. Fundraising for nonprofit media is always a challenge, and we need all hands on deck right now. We have no cushion; we leave it all on the field.

It’s reader support that enables Mother Jones to report the facts that are too difficult, expensive, or inconvenient for other news outlets to uncover. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate